Operation PuckleBerry: On the Go
by BlameItOnTheLoveOfRockAndRoll
Summary: Is there a time when they can just shut up, make out and hook up already? The Glee club are sick of their bickering so they take matters into their own hands... PxR FTW and KxOC if you can call it that!
1. Or So Help Me!

**_Yay, my first Glee fic!!! I used to be a Finn/Rachel shipper but when I saw Rachel and Puck making out in YouTube, I was like OMFG I HEART YOU NOW!!! Sorry Finn, but I just think you're not good enough for Rachel anymore, haha. Besides, you're not strong and like Puck states, "Have you seen my guns?" Never mess with Puck's badassness. Ever!_**

**_Disclaimer: Please, if I did own Glee, I would be famous and well known. Need I say more? OK!!!_**

* * *

"Is everybody ready for their performances?"

"Most definitely-"

"Not!"

The owner of that last comment glanced across the room to the fuming girl staring back at him. He had to admit he found it cute when she scrunched up her nose with disgust, probably because of his hairstyle as a wicked mohawk. All a better reason to make fun of her.

Mr. Schuester ignored both of his student's comments and held a raven bowler, which seemed to resemble the infamous slapstick performer Charlie Chaplin's hat.

The regular iconoclast fashionista of the group had their hazel eyes on the hat. "That would look so good with my outfit tomorrow. Can I have it?"

Mr. Schuester glanced from the bowler grasped gently in his hands to the twinkling eyes of Kurt Hummel. "After I'm done with this Kurt."

Kurt started to beam like there was no tomorrow and clapped his hands with joy. "Yay, free hat. I need to do bargain with people more often when it comes to fashion."

Mr. Schuester cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "Okay well in this hat is a-"

"_My_ hat."

"…In Kurt's hat is a-"

"My _new_ hat."

The teacher gave Kurt a sideways glance, to see if he was going to interrupt him anymore. Knowing that Kurt got what he wanted anyway, he sighed and continued with what he was trying to say. "…In Kurt's new hat, is a thin sheet of paper with everyone's name written on it. Also in the hat is a list of different songs that you will be singing to as a warm-up for today's class. Do you all understand that?"

"Absolutely-"

"Not!"

"Ooh, catfight, they never have any good ones on television anymore," Kurt whispered happily to his sassy friend Mercedes Jones' ear.

"Must you interrupt everything I say?" the voice of Rachel Berry enquired to the footballer in the other side of the room, who in return just smirked.

"Must you be all peeved about it?" Noah Puckerman retorted back.

Offended, Rachel scoffed. "I am not; I just think your attitude is annoying."

"And what, your voice isn't? I swear it kills my eardrums everytime you open your mouth."

"Well guess what buddy, you being here doesn't make me feel better either. I mean, what kind of hair is that? It would put the Glee club to shame."

"I soo agree with you on that Rach, about the mohawk part. You need to make it have a little more 'shine' then everyone will love you," Kurt interrupted, emphasizing his words to the football player.

"Guys, enough. You have to stop arguing with each other every lesson okay? Because of this, Rachel and Puck will not be performing first," Mr. Schuester stated firmly, getting annoyed that many people were either interrupting him, or forgot that he was in the same room as them. Rachel gasped in horror, while Puck just shrugged his shoulders, not really caring at all.

"Sigh, if only I had popcorn with me," Kurt remarked to himself.

"That goes for you too Kurt, you're not performing first or getting the bowler hat," the teacher stated, annoyed on Kurt with his witty and sarcastic words.

Kurt's mouth dropped open, like it was the worst thing to happen to him ever. "What? Well, I'm not trusting another teacher's word ever again." He crossed his arms across his chest, huffing and moving his body away from the teacher.

Mr. Schuester chuckled at his student's words while picking a name from the hat. He glanced around the room, trying to find the first victim to perform. "Artie Abrams."

The paraplegic manual wheelchair user moved his wheelchair towards the smiling teacher, who handed him the hat to pick a random song to sing to. Artie picked one, smiling at whatever he chose that was written on that thin strip of translucent paper.

He never got to say what his selected song was, because someone else had beaten him to it – as in interrupted him by an unfair statement on his condition.

"Go wheelies."

"Puck, why do you have to be such a tightass?"

"Berry, why do you always have slushie facials? Oh yeah, because you're annoying and ugly!"

"Why don't you just go-"

"SHUT UP!"

Everyone turned to where the sudden outburst came from, none other than a flush-faced Finn Hudson. Mr. Schue gave Finn a small smile, thanking him for that. He turned towards the two teens that were giving each other a 'glare off', and sighed. When can they ever get along?

"Rachel and Puck, I don't want to do this but you're staying back after Glee class is over," Mr. Schuester stated, very seriously.

Yet again, Rachel gasped with horror, while Puck just rolled his eyes and glanced at the ceiling, but not before running a hand through his mohawk, winking at Rachel. Said girl just scoffed, and crossed her arms across her lime green jumper, watching Artie perform his performance. What she didn't know was that he was still staring at her.

Somehow, Puck always found himself never looking away from the wannabe diva, and for once, he didn't have an actual answer on why he was. Sure, she was 'attractable' but he found her annoying, boring at times and the number one person to easily mess and mock with. Whenever he would say a sly comment to a fellow McKinley High female student, they would either be shy or get embarrassed, because it was the Noah Puckerman that was talking to them.

However, his persuasion powers didn't work on one person – Rachel Berry. He found it terrible, but also a turn-on. She was like a challenge, and he didn't like to back down from one.

He had to admit, the lime green jumper she was wearing seemed to make her chocolate eyes pop out and her mocha hair blended well with the combination. Her yellow pleated skirt a few inches above the knee made his um… 'manhood' department go all funny. Puck muttered something inwardly, not even hearing the bell ring.

He understood class was over when he only saw Mr. Schuester fixing his paperwork, and Rachel and Finn talking to each other in the doorway… wait, Rachel and Finn talking?

Puck turned his head to perceive his best friend saying something to her, and she laughed. What caught Puck's attention was that Finn was staring at her and smiling sweetly when she chuckled. Oddly, Puck felt a bit… he didn't know what it was to be honest.

He got up and headed towards his next class when Mr. Schuester called him and Rachel. He turned to see Rachel glaring at him. Of course to balance things up, he smirked. "Well what are we waiting for darling? Mr. Schue wants us."

"Don't ever call me that," Rachel threatened, stalking off to the teacher. Smirking, he followed suit to see Mr. Schuester holding a few sheets of paper, who glanced back towards the two meddling teens.

"I will be honest, ever since Puck joined Glee; you two have been going off at each other a lot. Is there a time when you two ever spoken without resulting it to be an argument?" he questioned, eyeing both students.

"Yeah, in my dreams," Rachel announced, wanting to get to class immediately.

Puck eyed her. "So, you have dreams of me? I don't always go for the wannabe divas, but for you I can make an exception."

Rachel's eyes widened, disgusted. "It's an expression you perve."

Mr. Schuester mentally slapped his forehead. "See what I mean? You're both doing it again. Look, is there a way that you two can at least pretend to get along?"

"Even if it's pretend, I do not want to associate myself with a pervert like him," Rachel declared, pointing an accusing finger at the bad boy.

Puck gasped, smirking a little and stepping aside so Rachel was pointing at Mr. Schuester. "Are you calling Mr. Schue a pervert? Wow, that's a bit extreme don't you think?"

Rachel glowered at Puck. "I was pointing to you, imbecile."

Before anything could happen next, Mr. Schuester stepped in between the two, restraining them from biting each other's heads off. "I can't deal with you two quarreling with each other anymore. Instead, you both have to do a performance."

Rachel's anger died down from hearing those words, smiling from ear to ear. Puck just stared at the girl who had a sudden split personality change. He had to admit, he found that hot.

"Together."

Rachel's emotions faded away to one of utter annoyance and disgust. "What?"

Puck just placed his hand on her shoulder, patting it. "Don't worry; I won't bite… unless you want me to."

"Mr. Schue, with all due respect, why do you want me to suffer with this… this thing!?" Rachel argued, while Puck got annoyed that he was called a 'thing'.

"Rachel, many performers in their life had to be partnered up with someone they didn't get along with. And although they didn't want to live with that, they managed to survive their ordeal, resulting to them being famous now. Isn't that what you want to be?" Mr. Schuester asked, his voice showing concern to the female student.

"Of course I want to be famous," Rachel pointed out matter-of-factly.

Puck rolled his eyes. "You didn't have to overreact about the whole situation. Oh, and by the way, I am not a thing. I'm a _hot_ thing," he added, smirking.

Interfering once again, Mr. Schuester handed the two sheets of paper. "These are your songs for the week, I want you two to choose between these songs and make a mash up. You will present it to the class next Monday, and I will be expecting a lot from the both of you."

"Also, I will be grading you. If you don't do well from what I see, you will both be kicked out from Glee. Got it?" he ended, glancing at each of their reactions.

He got what he wanted from Rachel – a shrill, but it didn't seem to bother Puck. "As well as off the football team," Mr. Schuester added.

Puck's monotonous expression changed to one of annoyance and fury, something Mr. Schuester tried not to smirk at. "Fuck."

"Excuse me, but language," Rachel uttered.

"I'm sorry for not acting like a pissy priss like you are," Puck retorted with.

They were once again interrupted, but not by Mr. Schuester. There standing at the door was none other than the divine Kurt. He tapped his foot impatiently, giving Rachel a stare down. "What happened to, "I have to go get a drink?" I can see you are gulping down something alright," he articulated, moving his hazel eyes in the direction of Puck.

"And seriously, your 'hawk really needs to have some spunk to it," Kurt advised to Puck, who seemed to give him in return the stink-eye.

Kurt took the hint, but kept going with his 'man-to-man' conversation. "What? I'm like saving all the little strands of your hair from embarrassment!"

Mr. Schuester motioned Rachel and Puck to return to their classes, giving both of them late passes. They both grabbed one and made their way departing the room. Of course an argument has erupted before they even stepped foot out of the door.

"Walk faster Puck."

"Make me."

"I don't see the big deal of this; just move your legs with more speed."

"Are you trying to hint that we do something dirty, Berry?"

"What?! Oh god no! I swear Noah Puckerman; you are nothing but a… argh!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

Two minutes after the meddling duo left, Kurt was still at the door, watching Puck and Rachel have a go at each other from the hallway. When he knew they had turned a corner and were out of earshot, he briskly entered the room, heading in Mr. Schuester's direction.

Mr. Schuester turned to Kurt. "Your right, they just keep biting each other's heads off. It's getting to the point when it's just plain annoying and not fun anymore."

Kurt placed his hands on his heart. "I said almost the exact same thing. What it was exactly I can't remember but it was almost the same."

"I hope your plan works Kurt. I'm counting on you to make it happen," Mr. Schuester assured to the fashionista boy.

"My plans always work, even if all of them are to do with fashion. But Rachel and Puck are like a pair of socks and shoes – the socks want to be cleaned, while the shoes want to be dirty. Either way they can't stand each other and it's perfect," Kurt said, doing his fingers in a Mr. Burns-esque style.

"Do they know about this?"

"Of course 'they' do. Well 'they they' don't, but 'they' do? Does that make any sense at all? Geez, I need to go shopping later."

Mr. Schuester believed his words – before his shopping speech, but he felt like he was here for something else. "Kurt, why are you really here?"

"Fine, I came for my hat," Kurt confessed.

"But I said that it's not your-"

He never finished it because Kurt snatched it from where it laid on top of the piano, running carefully as not to damage his attire.

Mr. Schuester chuckled, picking up his suitcase and walking out of the room, mumbling one thing more to himself than to anyone. "This plan better work or so help me!"

* * *

**_"This could be the start of something new..." Ewwies get it out of my head. Hope it turned out okay, and if you think Puck is a little bit OOC, then it's because he is. Oh well, you gotta love the bad boys with the sweet side *SIGH*_**

**_And the moment you have all been waiting for... MORE MORE RANDOM SBSP QUOTES!!_**

**_(from the eppie Rock Bottom)  
SB: (waiting for the bus) Getting hungry. Glove candy dispenser! Good thing I went to Glove World  
*takes glove candy from dispenser, puts it in his mouth then spits it out*  
SB: *disgusted* Eww! Glove flavoured!_**

**_Anyhoos, better start my exam revision... heck no, gonna stay up reading fanfics!!!_**

**_SMIGGLE!!!  
R&R!!!_**


	2. When Mummy and Daddy Fight

**_Whoa! How many emails I got when I came home from school the day after I uploaded the previous chapter really made my day. More than half were like story-alerts, so at least people like the story. And thanks to everyone who reviewed, favourited, author alerted, story alerted... oh and btw, who put me in the community thing? No, I'm not angry in fact I was literally jumping on my bed like some lost freak when I found out. Whoever submitted my story on the community thing, thanks so much. :D_**

**_What time is it now? 2:55AM... on a Saturday. No wonder I almost fell asleep in my Science Physical exam. I know for sure I failed that, I mean I studied the wrong sections. Psshh, oh well it's Science, no one really gives a crap about it in my school._**

**_Oh and this is like so random, but I have added an 'OC' if you can call it that. You will probz be like ZOMG at the end or when you see the OC. Haha. _**

**_Disclaimer: Please, I would be nominated for so many awards if I owned Glee. I could outshine my brother in the trophy department if I wanted to, but me being a slacker and a lazy hobo, no thanks. Enjoy!!!_**

* * *

"Walk faster Puck."

"Make me."

"I don't see the big deal of this; just move your legs with more speed."

"Are you trying to hint that we do something dirty, Berry?"

"What?! Oh god no! I swear Noah Puckerman; you are nothing but a… argh!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

"Argh, why can't you dimwit just leave me alone," Rachel bitterly exclaimed, pacing faster to get away from her worst nightmare. Unfortunately for her, Puck seemed to catch on to her actions.

"Wow, your skirt just bounces everywhere when you are trying to get away from me. You have got to stop doing this to me Berry, you're killing me," Puck exclaimed, placing a hand on his heart, smirking.

Rachel stopped ambling, resulting to Puck almost falling on top of her. She turned around, twirling her chocolate hair and glared at Puck dangerously. Before she could say anything at all, there were three things she noticed right away. One, his mocha eyes that had a flash of green looked exotic. Two, his face was only inches away from hers. And three, wasn't that person running in their direction –

"Get out of my way or you will crush my newly beloved!" A very familiar voice echoed through the hallway, and ran past where Puck and Rachel just happened to be standing. "Touch her and you will suffer with my mad dancing skills." They had seemed to be clutching on some sort of bowler hat which looked strangely and utterly like the one Kurt was begging Mr. Schue to give to him.

Rachel and Puck both ignored the figure that just zoomed past them, and proceeded with their bickering argument. "I swear you have no respect for girls whatsoever," Rachel screeched at Puck.

Puck made a 'psshh' sound, not really caring. "For your information Berry, I do have respect for the ladies, especially if they do the one thing that I want from them," he retorted, winking.

Rachel scoffed, disgusted with his implications. "That is just vulgar and totally unloyal. You should be ashamed of yourself."

Puck's gaze now went to his shoes, kicking them on the ground a little. "I know what you mean, and I absolutely agree with you."

Rachel was taken aback with his words. Did he really regret all his past actions? Maybe deep down he wasn't the crude pervert that always had to have a pointless verbal conversation with her. Maybe deep down in that cold black heart of his with the lock wrapped around it was something bright red, glowing inside and ready to be let out. Yeah, that seemed like a fair enough answer.

"And because of that, you should spank me," he added, wiggling his eyebrows mischieviously.

Scratch that long thought.

Horrified, Rachel opened her mouth to rebut, but Puck bet her to it. "I've been a bad boy, and I need to come to my senses. I think I need a good girl to come and fix this screwed up problem of mine, and… did you put your hand up? Well, _you_ can be the first to help me change this bad boy," Puck whispered seductively in her ear.

Rachel squealed with anger. "Eww, I would never associate myself with a disgusting pervert like you." She crossed her arms across her chest, raising an eyebrow and glancing at Puck sternly. Puck seemed to find it adorable that her facial expression looked like something Bambi would do.

"You so want this hunk of candy," Puck pointed out, his thumbs referring to himself obviously. This resulted to an eye roll from the diva, who began to walk away from him.

"Oh yeah definitely. I want you Puck… to leave me alone!" And with that, she stormed off to class.

Puck watched her retreating form, chuckling a little. Did she not know where her Maths class was? "Hey beautiful, your class is the other way," he shouted.

Next thing to happen, Rachel paced in the opposite direction, to where her Maths class really was. "I knew that," she mumbled.

Her hushed response just made him smirk more. "Sure you did, gorgeous."

"Stop calling me those icky nicknames Puck."

"You know you love them, honey bunny."

"I hate you Noah Puckerman, deep down I really do."

As she turned a corner, disappearing from his sights, Puck turned the other way and headed for his History class, sneering at the girl's response. "She so wants me."

_************_

Lunchtime at McKinley High should be a time where people aren't stressed right? You're definitely completely and utterly wrong about that, especially when the topic is about…

"I swear to the Holy Man above us, they really need to be locked in a closet together."

"Seriously, can you imagine if they actually get together and later on got married? And if they had a kid?"

"P-Puck as a d-d-dad? Gee, th-that would b-be a f-first."

"But he _did_ get Quinn pregnant."

"But they have absolutely no chemistry whatsoever!"

Mercedes and Artie, as well as their Asian-American Goth friend Tina Cohen-Chang were discussing the one thing everyone in Glee wants to happen – the beauty and the beast to hook up. Before they could continue their debate in the cafeteria, a bouncy Kurt joined them, smiling for joy.

"Guess what guys, you would not believe it!"

"Did Mr. Schue join in on the plan?" Mercedes enquired to her fashionista friend.

"What? Oh that… yeah he did, but that's not important right now. I think I'm in love," Kurt gushed, placing his hands on his heart.

"With whom? Whom?" Mercedes grabbed his wrist, demanding answers while Artie and Tina nodded, wanting to know themselves.

Kurt flashed a smirk to his bootylicious friend. "Let's just say that when I first saw her, it was definitely love at first sight. Screw my car, I have a new love and it will be magnificent."

"Ooh, wh-where is sh-she?" Tina stuttered, growing more curious as to who has bitten Kurt with the love bug.

Kurt's smile just grew bigger. "Ladies, and Artie, I present to you my new love," he announced, placing that infamous bowler hat on the table. Mercedes, Artie and Tina whipped their heads around as to find Kurt's mysteriously 'new girl' but the only girls they saw were Quinn, Brittany and Santana who just walked into the cafeteria.

Mercedes turned and gave Kurt an evil glare. "Are you stupid or something? You're in love with one of the cheerios? I'm pretty sure you are using too much conditioner for that hair of yours."

Kurt gasped, placing both hands around the base of the bowler hat, offended with his friends' words. "OMG you did not just say that! As if I would go with a cheerio, I mean have you seen the hair products they use?" He turned to where the Cheerios sat in the popular table with the other members of their elite group and the jocks, and faced Mercedes to continue with what he was saying. "They use the cheap brands, it's embarrassing enough."

Before Mercedes could rebut her answer, Kurt just continued with his sentence. "Oh and by the way, I use the right amount of conditioner every day thank you very much. I need it to have some flop, bounce but mostly dazzle under the moony lit sky." To prove his point, he flipped his hair around, resulting to an eye roll from Mercedes and a sigh from Artie.

Tina seemed confused. "Th-then who are y-you in l-lo-love with?"

Kurt's smile got bigger once again. "Introducing Katy," he again announced, letting go of his bowler hat. Again, Mercedes, Artie and Tina whipped their heads around to the cafeteria entrance, seeing only Finn, Matt, Mike and Puck who had entered, making their way to the popular table. What surprised the trio was that Puck turned in their direction then swiftly faced his jock buddies.

How peculiar.

However, they were more focused on who this 'Katy' person was. Kurt cleared his throat, their attention facing him, who looked grumpy. "You are being disrespectful to Katy."

Artie looked confused. "Doesn't she want us looking for her?"

Kurt slapped his forehead like it was the most stupidest question he had ever heard. To him, it was the most stupidest question he had ever heard. "She is here already."

"Wh-where?" Even Tina was getting impatient with Kurt.

"Here." Kurt was getting more annoyed at the fact that his Glee friends were not even decoding the fact on Katy even with them. He put the bowler hat on his gorgeous mop of chestnut hair, tapping it slightly, and pointing at the hat to his friends.

"No offense Kurt, but you look stupid pointing to that hat of… wait, isn't that the hat that you begged Mr. Schue to give to you?" Mercedes asked, curious.

"Why yes, thanks for the observation my dear."

"But I th-th-thought Mr. Sch-Schue said th-that you co-couldn't g-g-get it an-any-anymore?" Tina furthermore questioned.

Kurt simply pulled the hat off his head, placing it on the table. "It's a free country; I can do anything I want with Katy."

Artie was drinking an apple-flavoured slushie when he heard what his buddy had just said, resulting to him spitting out the green-coloured drink from his mouth, causing a few onlookers. "_That_ is Katy?" he enquired, pointing to the hat.

Kurt gasped, clutching Katy to his chest. "You say it like it's a bad thing. Well, you're just jealous because I have good taste." He then turned to Katy, a lovestruck expression on his visage. "It's okay baby waby, Artie Fartie did not mean what he saidy waidy."

"Yeah," Artie said, until realizing what Kurt meant. "Hey!" he yelled.

"Sorry Artie, but I'm not in the mood for greetings," Rachel out of no-where exclaimed, sitting down next to Kurt and banging her head on the table. Kurt rubbed her back, acting all sympathetic. "Honey, I wouldn't do that if I were you. I mean, you would get bruises on your face and people would think you got attacked by a warthog or worse, a meerkat."

"Kurt, that was a really bad simile," Artie articulated, wiping some of the green slushie he spitted out before off of his cream jumper.

"It was not a simile, and it was the first thing I could think of, okay? GOSH! The Lion King like immediately popped up into my mind. What a good film," Kurt uttered, staring off into a blind spot and just admiring it. "Scar's mane was soo hot, and his eyes were soo sexy."

"Going off topic here. Anyways, Rachel what is making you all tensed and stressed?" Mercedes asked. She actually knew the answer, but she just wanted her friend to confirm her assumptions.

"That idiot with the stupid mohawk plastered on the middle of his bald head!" she screeched, many people now glancing at her sudden outburst. Puck from across the room was one of the people that glanced, and knew she was talking about him when she heard him yell out, "Idiot." He figured she was defiantly speaking about him as he was the only one who would piss her off in the first place.

He couldn't believe he was actually thinking this, but he found Rachel hot when she was in her breaking point. Now all he had to do was push her buttons a little bit, then like an egg, she would crack. Slowly, he got off his seat, grabbed his mango-flavoured slushie, excused himself from his teammates and headed towards his fellow Glee club members. He smirked when he saw Mercedes, Tina and Artie look at him. However, he wondered why they were smirking slightly at him. Nevertheless, he continued to smirk and sat next to Rachel. "_Cherry Berry_, you're gonna damage that pretty face of yours."

This got Rachel's attention, who was now glowering at the bad boy. "What the hell did you just call me?"

Sneering, Puck continued. "Berry my princess fairy, God won't be impressed that you said the H word, so now he is going to send you to hell. Oh, I said it too, so I guess we will both end up in hell. At least I know you will accompany me there, and maybe do something more than that…" Taking his chances, he placed an arm around Rachel's shoulder, waiting for her to scream.

"Puck, first of all, stop giving me those yuck nicknames. They sound so derogatory, so stop. Second, this is why I said you were a pervert, because you think like one and because you are one!"

"One, you love it when I call you those names with my super sexy voice. Two, I'm not a perve and if I was, how am I one?"

"For starters, you always seem to be staring either at my chest or my ass, and if not, you're thinking about it!"

"Wow, it seems like you have given this question a lot of thought. Proves that you dig me."

"Oh yeah, definitely."

"Hah! Knew it! Mike and Matt owe me five bucks now, score!"

"It's called sarcasm, you baboon, go look it up in a dictionary, if you have one."

"That's easy. I have the _dick_, you give me the _action_, and we could do it in the _missionary_ position. See? '_Dic-tion-ary_?' I'm so smart!"

"Oh you are smart alright… you smart asshole! And get your arm off me!"

While they continued with yet again another quarrel, they didn't realize that the majority of everyone in the cafeteria, even the lunch lady was staring wide-eyed at this verbal argument. What they also didn't realize was that Kurt, Mercedes, Artie and Tina had ditched them and were now sitting with the rest of the Glee members, watching this crazy fiasco.

"Get a room!" Mike shouted from the table. The only response he got – Puck giving him the finger, his eyes still intact with Rachel, yelling out either flirtatious comments or comebacks that was sure to piss her off.

"Seriously, if I could be bothered to, I would record this and put it on YouTube. It would smash more than a million in less than an hour," Finn said, his eyes still on the feud.

"She soo wants him. She complains about him more than she does about you two," Mercedes commented, looking back and forth at Finn and Quinn when she said that. "No offense or anything."

Quinn gritted her teeth. "None taken."

"So the plan is set in motion?" Artie enquired in his wheelchair, with Tina standing next to him.

Quinn grinned devilishly. "Duh! It will be effective after the bell rings."

Finn smiled lovingly at his girlfriend. "You're so devious, and that's why I fell for you." Yeah, next thing you know, the two of them were making out.

Mike shielded his eyes in a joking manner. "Geez, and yet I say that they should get a room?" Them referring to obviously… we all know who.

"Yeah, go join them and do a foursome while you're at it," Kurt added, adjusting Katy in many positions on his head.

Finn stopped the make out session to glance at Kurt confusingly. "Isn't that the hat from Mr. Schue that he said you couldn't have?"

"He didn't say that I couldn't have it… okay, he said I couldn't have it, but Katy was a damsel in distress, and she was calling me to take her away from her captor…"

"Wait, you stole it from Mr. Schue?"

"It's a free country. I'm pretty sure Obama would do the same thing if it was a free donuts day thing. What I would give to have one of those vanilla glazed ones with a pink umbrella on top…"

Finn glanced at Tina, Mercedes and Artie, more confused, giving them a 'what-the-fuck-is-he-on-about' expression. Mercedes just chuckled as Kurt was still going on about his latest desire. "Trust me, you don't wanna know."

Before Finn could say anything, there was a shrill. Everyone of them turned their heads, seeing and hearing…

"You pervert! What the hell was that?"

"What the hell was what? You overreact too much you know that?"

"I should overreact; I mean you just touched my ass!"

"I didn't touch it, I was trying to cope a feel!"

"Same thing dipshit."

Kurt rolled his eyes at the two, blaming them for ruining his one-on-one time with him and Katy. As if it was alive, he patted Katy, loving the feel of velvet pressed gently on his hand. Pity, the moment was already ruined.

"No they are not; they are two very different words with different meanings. Go look it up in a _dictionary_, or _do you want me to show you_?"

"AGHHH! Noah Puckerman, you are a buffoon, you know that?!"

"Meh, been called worse than that, cherry Berry."

"AGHHH!"

Kurt sighed and turned to the two that were acting like 'a married couple'. "I hate it when mummy and daddy fight."

* * *

**_Yeah, that's right, my OC is none other than Kurt's hat. Genius. Soo many people reviewed saying they loved the whole Kurt and hat thing and I was just like WHY NOT MAKE THE HAT A REGULAR THING? So, instead of it being a goof, it's going to be a special guest star in my story. HURRAH!!_**

**_I wrote all of this in four hours, when I could be studying for my final exam - Health. I still don't know why I chose that for my VCE. Sigh. _****_Wow, I seem so moody and depressed. Must be the hormones. No wonder, I'm craving chocolate now. Where is my brother when you need him? _****_To end this... yes, it's what you have all been waiting for - MORE MORE MORE SBSP QUOTES!!!_**

**_(from the eppie Valentine's Day)  
(P after SB breaks his heart by giving everyone in the town VDay gifts but not him)  
P: *sees huge carnival ride with big heart on top, angry* Heart on stick must die!  
*tries lifting it up, starts puffing and sweating madly, gives up, sees little girl eating heart lollipop*  
P: *enraged* HEART ON STICK MUST DIE!  
*grabs lollipop and breaks it*_**

**_Now I know why I'm depressed - have to go shopping with my mum tomorrow... when I say shopping I mean grocery shopping. Well, at least it's not my money that's being spent HURRAH!! :) Four exams down, one to go... thank god it's my last one then I have three days off HURRAH HURRAH!! Then I have to commence my subjects for next year - damn, the moment has now been officially ruined._**

**_Anyhoos, SMIGGLE!!!  
R&R!!!_**


	3. That Kind Of Protection

**_OMG YAYY!!! I actually passed my Science and Health exam PARTTAYYY!!! Okay well it wasn't more than 75% but at least it's more than 50%. Now all I need is Maths, English and French... argh, teachers correct it already THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!! WAAAAAAH_**

**_Ooer... thanks for zee reviews, story-alerts, people favouriting and reading. They made me smile and gave me a reason to work on this chappie today when I came home from French classes. SMILIES :D_**

**_Disclaimer: God Loves Everything Equal... wanted to make an abbreviated saying using Glee. Like what I wrote, God loves everything equal except for me owning this story. Damn, oh well. Gonna go bug my sibs and watch HP6 with them sooo enjoy!!!_**

* * *

"You pervert! What the hell was that?"

"What the hell was what? You overreact too much you know that?"

"I should overreact; I mean you just touched my ass!"

"I didn't touch it; I was trying to cope a feel!"

"Same thing dipshit."

"No they are not; they are two very different words with different meanings. Go look it up in a _dictionary_, or _do you want me to show you_?"

"AGHHH! Noah Puckerman, you are a buffoon, you know that?!"

"Meh, been called worse than that, cherry Berry."

"AGHHH!"

RING!!! The bell went, commencing the rest of the day's classes.

Before Puck could interject with anything, he got the surprise of his life. Someone had just slushied Rachel… and it wasn't him. He glanced in the direction to where the slushie had come from, just to see some random holding _his_ slushie. He turned to his right to perceive Rachel covered in orange goo hyperventilating and although slimed with mango-flavoured slushie, she was trying to hold back the tears. She couldn't take it anymore and fled the cafeteria, everyone watching her retreating form.

Puck instantly felt guilty for even buying that slushie. He didn't even like the flavour and yet he bought it. What a waste of two dollars and fifty cents. He then remembered that the guy that slushied Rachel was still standing there wearing a pair of oversized sunnies, a jersey jacket and oddly a bowler hat, still holding his slushie.

Angrily, he got up, grabbed the random by the jacket and dragged him out of the cafeteria. He pulled him into a corner where not much people would see this, and whispered threateningly in his ear. "Nobody messes with Rachel but me got it? So you better not go near her ever again, or you are going to result to me and I'm going to teach you a lesson about it, got it?"

The poor random person nodded his head repeatedly, fearing for his life. Puck smirked that nearly everyone in McKinley High feared him, except for his football teammates, the Glee club, Mr. Schue and Rachel.

At the thought of Rachel, his smirk died down, almost feeling sorry for not… protecting her. Sure, he had a go at her by throwing several slushies on her face, but that was before he joined Glee. Now that he did, he just couldn't do it anymore, and now seeing someone else that was not him do that to her made him realize how she felt. She was vulnerable, and needed to be protected.

And as much clichéd as it sounds, Puck needed to be her knight in shining armour. Of course Puck smirked at that, releasing his grip on the random kid. Puck said one more thing to the random, "And you owe me five dollars and an apple-flavoured slushie for that."

The random just blinked, confused. "But a slushie costs two fifty, and wasn't the flavour mango?"

Puck just smirked. "Now you owe me five bucks dude. But do that to her again…" he began to crack his knuckles and flex his muscles to prove his point, while the random shook his head repetitively again.

"Good." Next thing to happen, Puck grabbed the random and brought him into the guy's bathrooms, before saying, "I'm going to show you what happens incase you forget what I mean."

_************_

Thirty minutes later…

Puck left the guy's bathroom with a sneer on his face, cracking his knuckles and heading to class, while the random never came out of the bathroom. For all we know, Puck could have murdered the poor bloke. Oh well, we don't really care about him... or do we?

Puck was heading in the direction of his English class, knowing he would arrive late obviously; the bell went more than half an hour ago! He considered even wagging English since they were just learning about poetry and he wouldn't admit to anyone but… he was actually having a go at doing his own poetry and it turned out pretty good. There is no way he would admit that to anyone, not even his mum.

While Puck almost turned the corner, his thoughts on poetry vanished when he saw somebody beginning to leave the girl's bathroom. His exotic eyes widened when he noticed it was Mercedes. He hid from behind the corner, his back to the wall, hearing what Mercedes was saying to someone.

"Girl, are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"I'll be okay, promise. You can go without me; I've already done the Science assignment."

Puck immediately recognized that voice. How could he forget it? That voice made him feel like heaven and hell.

"Okay, I'll take down some notes incase there are some. Don't worry, if I find that guy that did that to you, he'll cry for his momma that's for sure," and with that, Mercedes left the bathroom, pacing in the direction from where Puck was.

Acting all cool, he turned the corner, glancing up at the ceiling with his hands in his jeans pockets, whistling to 'Livin' La Vida Loca', ignoring Mercedes smirk as she turned the corner. Knowing fully aware that she was gone and that no one was in the hallway, he precariously entered the dreaded girl's bathroom.

The first thing he observed was the smell. It smelled so much like vanilla and cream, just like Rachel… not like he knew that or anything. But the next thing he noted was something he probably wouldn't forget for the rest of his life – Rachel starting to unbutton her shirt.

Uh-oh, Puck's dreams are coming true, but to his dismay, her back was facing him, totally oblivious to the fact that someone from the opposite gender or a nightmare to her Puck was in the girl's lavatory.

Puck gave a low whistle, feeling all lusty already. Damn that Rachel Berry for turning him on!

She halted from what she was doing, and turned to stare at the mirror, to her horror seeing the last person she least expected to see in the girl's bathroom. She quickly grabbed her unbuttoned shirt and covered herself up, holding onto her sides so the shirt won't slip from her grip.

Puck chuckled, loving that she just blushed and was making a complete fool out of herself. "Damn Berry, you sure know how to make me feel good."

Rachel glared at him furiously. "Get out of here! Do you not know that this is a certain place in the school where privacy is extremely important?"

Puck just stared at her mocha eyes bluntly. "Come on, you know you're hot. Just flaunt yourself and don't be afraid of what everyone thinks. Isn't that what you tell Tina?"

Rachel was about to retort when his words made her realize he was indeed right. Whenever Tina felt shy or embarrassed about how she dressed in her attire, Rachel always assured her that just because she dressed as a Goth didn't mean that she was an outcast. And if everyone thought she was an outcast, she would outshine them all for having the courage to be different and unique from everyone else.

Rachel smiled at the fact that Puck had said that. Then she realized it was _Puck_ that had said that. "We're not talking about Tina, and get out you pervert!" she screeched, changing the subject.

Puck rolled his eyes, stepping closer to the fuming girl. "Look, I'm not here being all perverty okay? I came because I wanted to see if you were alright."

"Liar," Rachel hissed.

Puck raised his hands up, showing he was telling the truth. "I'm serious but if you want… we can go back to when I was coping a feel on your ass," he whispered, winking at her.

Rachel pushed him, grabbed her bag that was full of extra clothes and marched to the closest cubicle and locked herself in it. "Why the hell do you even care if I'm alright or not?"

"Because that asshole threw a slushie at you, and not just any slushie, _my_ slushie!" Puck whined, talking to the closed door that Rachel kept herself in.

"Who would've thought that Noah Puckerman cared for someone and not just anybody, but the Gleek freak Rachel Berry," he heard her utter.

Puck seemed offended with what he had heard her say. She tells Tina to just appreciate her own body and not let anybody put her down, and yet she didn't feel that way about herself? "Excuse me sunshine, but you are not a Gleek freak. You are a sexy Gleek freak."

"Shut up with those derogatory words you use for me, they show disrespect to me," Rachel said as she entered out of the cubicle, her plain shirt and lime green jumper now replaced with a buttoned up rosy pink shirt. And woo she looked hot in it.

Puck advanced towards her, smirking. "You love it."

Rachel glanced up and his face was inches away. She could smell his aftershave – minty with a strong essence of musk.

"You also love my smell as well. Cut the act, let's just get down and dirty already," Puck announced, wiggling his eyebrows mischieviously.

Horrified, Rachel bolted away from the left tackle. Pity she wasn't that athletic because since a) Puck is athletic, b) he had quick reflexes and c) have you seen his guns and abs? he grabbed her by the wrist, resulting to her falling back slightly, if it wasn't for Puck who held her by the waist.

"Puck honey?"

"Yes sexy pie?"

Eye roll. "As much as I love our interactions, let go of me."

"Can't."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm your knight in shining armour here to protect you from doom and you still have some slushie in your hair."

"WHAT?!"

Confused, Rachel and Puck both turned to the entrance of the girl's toilets to see none other than Kurt, his mouth dropped to the ground, horrified. "Katy says "GASP"," he randomly stated, tapping the raven velvet hat placed on top of his bouncy hair.

Rachel and Puck both glanced at each other, wondering who the hell this Katy chick is. They both heard Kurt cooing with joy, clapping his hands with joy and beaming like an idiot.

"Finally, a Glee hook-up. I guess you can count Finn and Quinn as a couple, but they are just your typical clichéd teenies, whereas you two…" he began with, darting his hazel eyes between the two.

Immediately, Rachel pushed Puck away from her, him falling on the ground. Unfortunately for her, he seemed to have a good view up her skirt but to his disappointment, she was wearing shorts. To his pleasure however, she was wearing denim short shorts. Yeowch!

"We are not together, and we will never be together EVER!" Rachel yelled, crossing her arms, pouting.

"That's not what you said before when you said "Puck honey"," Puck quoted from the floor. Rachel whipped her head to perceive the perve acting like what perves do. "Agh! You imbecile."

"What are you doing here anyway homo; this is a girl's bathroom?" Puck questioned.

Kurt rolled his eyes, annoyed and somewhat offended with what the football player had just said. "You did not just say that! And by the way, who am I going to talk to about the latest fashion and beauty supplies? Please, I tried that out on Finn and all I got was, "Isn't Dove a bird?" I mean hello, it's a brand of soap as well! And say whatever you want, you young lovers are just in denial," Kurt responded with. He grabbed Katy from his head, putting it close to his ear. Kurt's expression suddenly went to ZOMG. "OMG Katy I soo agree with you on that."

Kurt glanced at the two's expressions just to see them quarreling with each other yet again, much to his annoyance.

"Get out now!"

"Why should I? You're not a mum, but you and I could get pretty cosy if you were one, I mean…"

"That's it, leave now you jackass!"

"You let Kurt stay but not your gorgeous, muscled, toned, sexy superhero?"

Kurt cracked himself, rolling on the floor laughing. He slowly got up, bits of laughter coming out of at times. "Sigh, please you wish you were gorgeous and sexy like me."

"Are you insulting me you homo? Since you love your face so much, let me have the honour to rearrange that pretty face or yours and…"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Kurt screamed, fleeing the girl's lavatory, Katy clutched by his side, his voice echoing even though he left. "You can't touch Katy and you are definitely jealous of my good looks!"

"Please, he is just jealous of my muscles, you didn't hear him mention it," Puck stated, only to realize that Rachel had already left. He bolted out of the girl's bathroom, to observe his target heading towards her locker.

As she was opening her locker, Puck stood in the lockers next to hers, smirking at her. "You sneaky minx. You have got to stop leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for me to eat, because it will end up to you anyway."

"Has it ever occurred to you that the whole world doesn't revolve around you?"

"Try telling that to the fashionable Jimmy Coo-Coo."

"I heard that!" Kurt's voice shouted out of no-where, scaring Puck.

"Okay, that was freaky."

Rachel chuckled at Puck's expression. She found it cute that one minute he was all flirtatious and the next, he was all scared, something that she was pretty sure not many people had seen before.

"Admiring my good looks are we?" Puck asked, interrupting Rachel's thoughts.

Rachel made a 'psshh' sound, rolling her eyes, closing her locker. "Yes Puck. Oh how I want to run my hands all over your torso."

Puck grinned, satisfied with her answer. "We can try that now if you want, and don't worry, I want to do the exact same thing to you too."

"Dickhead."

"Aww, your words hurt the heart you know that?"

"If my words are said to you, then I don't really care."

"Ouch! Hot, feisty but hot."

Rachel groaned, running a hand through her chocolate hair, until she remembered that Puck told her she still had some slushie left in her hair. Unhurriedly, she pulled her arm back to her side, not wanting the stickiness to go on her hands again.

Puck seemed confused. "Why did you just do that? There is like nothing on your hair."

Rachel's eyes widened, glaring murderously at the football player. "So there is no slushie in my hair?"

At hearing her question, Puck then realized what she was on about. "Ohh about that… you see I wanted a reason to hold you."

"Damn you jerk."

"What? I was cold and I needed something to keep me warm and you happened to be the answer."

"Your pick-up lines suck; go try them out on someone else that wants you." And with that, Rachel skulked off to her Science class.

Puck watched her retreating form, his voice in a hushed whisper. "Trust me; there is only one person I want," and with that, he headed off towards the Glee room, knowing that the bell would ring any minute now, ending the classes for the day. And the 'psychic' he is, the bell did go off, ending the day.

"She so loves it when I say them-" However, he never got to finish his sentence because he was pushed to something, falling unconscious.

_************_

"That… that creep!"

"Gee, I feel for you Rach, I really do."

"I mean seriously, how would you react if the guy you hate soo much…"

'More like hate to love,' Mercedes thought to herself, chuckling slightly so her ranting friend wouldn't suspect a thing. She was so sick of Rachel blabbing on about what Puck did to Rachel in the girl's bathrooms. She suspected he went there, as she did see him walk past him when he was whistling to that shake-your-booty song. At least the planned somehow worked, now about the other-

"… is on the floor, looking up your skirt and grinning all devilishly, getting all these dirty thoughts popping up in their minds?"

"How could he do that? What a-"

"Asshole, jerk, imbecile, idiot, pervert-"

"Sexy, gorgeous, muscled, toned, hunky, badass he is isn't he?" Kurt said from out of no-where.

Rachel was appalled with what Kurt had just said. "Kurt! How could you say that about Puck?"

Kurt was talking all lovey dovey with Katy until he heard Rachel's words. He too was shocked. "As if I would say that about him! Please, I was talking about someone else thank you very much."

Mercedes and Rachel both enquired in unison, "Who?"

Kurt sighed with annoyance with their question. "Aslan, duh! He is after all 'the king of the jungle.'"

"Oh thank God, can you imagine if you actually said that about Puck?" Rachel laughed, while Mercedes and Kurt both looked at each other, a smirk riding up on their face.

All of a sudden, someone covered Rachel's mouth, preventing her from screaming, and covering their eyes with a cloth. With her kicking and screaming, two more people had to drag her, stopping her kicking and struggling to break free. They successfully managed to bring her to a small room, opening the door and shoving her in their, hoping she would fall on top of something. Noting that she did, they all smirked, closed the door shut, and locked her in their.

The three of them headed to where Kurt and Mercedes were standing, both with their mouths dropped to the floor… literally.

"And Pucky poo, that is for bashing me up in the boy's germy room for slushing Rachel," Kurt shouted in the direction of the closed door.

"Awesome!" Mercedes squealed, high-fiving them.

Kurt noticed that one of them was bleeding. "OMG you're bleeding, cover it up! Katy doesn't like to see blood, it makes her go all squirmy," he declared, clutching Katy to his chest.

Before any of them could say anything, Kurt shooed them away. "Vite, vite, vite, I don't want my baby to faint in my arms, sweat on my arms would ruin my scented lotion."

One of the boys spoke, confused. "It's not even alive."

"Gasp, you did not just say that!" Kurt stormed off to the Glee room, while Mercedes followed, but before thanking the trio.

_************_

As Kurt and Mercedes entered the Glee room, Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Artie and Tina all glanced at them, giving them a certain look. Kurt and Mercedes' response –

"Excellent," Kurt whispered menacingly, doing his hands in a Mr. Burns-esque style.

"Yes!" The girls and Artie cheered, high fiving each other. Mr. Schue entered, placing his sheets of paper on top of the piano, noticing that his lead female star, and the football players – minus Kurt – was missing.

As if they had heard what he was thinking, Finn, Mike and Matt entered the room, ambling quickly towards their seats. As Finn sat down next to his pregnant girlfriend, she noticed that her boyfriend was limping a little. "What happened to you?"

Finn glanced at Matt and Mike, then at Kurt and Mercedes, smirking. "Oh this… nothing."

Noting Finn's smirk and the way he had said it, Quinn understood what he meant. Yeah, they began making out again.

"Geez, must I say it again?" Mike called out from behind the kissing couple.

"Shut up Mike," Finn shouted, continuing his session with Quinn.

Mr. Schue counted everyone present except for the punctual Rachel Berry and the bad boy Noah Puckerman. How odd… or so he thought.

"Guys, where is Rachel and Puck?"

From hearing what Mr. Schue had just said, everyone, even the teacher himself laughed their butts off. Kurt held a handheld mirror grasped firmly on his hand and played with Katy, adjusting it on his head at the same time. He glanced up to Mr. Schue, his eyes twinkling with evilness. "When they both wake up and see the state of their 'living conditions' and the size of the room, they are going to need protection, and yes I meant _that kind of protection_."

* * *

**_Yeah, that's right, Kurt slushied Rachel... in disguise. GASP!!! Puck, how could you??? As much as I love you, I love Kurt too!!! But no one can replace my love for you, hahaha. Kill me for not putting that much KurtxKaty love in this chappie, DON'T KILL ME. But I can tell you that KxK will still go strong, and so will PxR as much as they don't want to admit it._**

**_Hehehehehe... you should know what time it is already, and don't look at the time when you read that. IT'S SBSP QUOTES TIME!!!_**

**_(from the eppie Plankton)  
(after SB retrieves the Krabby Patty formula away from Pl, who accidentally falls into some machine that reveals secret formulas)  
Comp: *identifying 'secret formula'* Plankton - 1% evil, 99% hot gas_**

**_And btw, the computer is Plankton's wife... I know 0_0_**

**_Eeeeee!!! I passed YAYYY!!! Ahahahaha Ron ruining the moment with his 'pie thing' _**

**_SMIGGLE!!!  
R&R!!!_**


	4. Good Samaritan My Ass

**_OMG thank God it works!!! You must be wondering, "WTH IS SHE ON ABOUT?!" Well, I will explain on my A/N at the end of the story. Oh oh oh, I passed Maths and French as well!!! EEEEEEK but I still don't know about English... please let me pass that too!_**

**_Speaking of English, I'm dreading it right now. Why? Well, we are doing transition classes for 2 weeks, and our first assessment is an oral about a current issue. I'm cool with that, but I'm not cool having to do it first against my will! You see, the order of presenting the orals is in alphabetical order... reversed, and I'm last. Argh. What my surname is, you will never know. EVER know._**

**_And btw, I wanna thank samcamstargate1 for suggesting the idea for locking them up in a closet, so I'm guessing this chappie is for you. THIS CHAPPIE IS FOR YOU!!! Soz, I'm high on a packet of Nerds. Yummy._**

**_And btw, suggest some ideas you want Puckleberry to be tortured with. Oh oh, and I even thought of a sequel for the story. BRAVOOO!!! I'll shut my mouth and start my English oral, and my Chem, Bio, Maths, and French hw. Sucks to be me._**

**_Disclaimer: I'm too lethargic to say it. See chappies 1-3 for more info. Alas, chappie numero quatre. Bon apetite!_**

* * *

"_Admiring my good looks are we?" _

"_Yes Puck. Oh how I want to run my hands all over your torso."_

"_We can try that now if you want, and don't worry, I want to do the exact same thing to you too."_

"_Dickhead."_

"_Aww, your words hurt the heart you know that?"_

"_If my words are said to you, then I don't really care."_

"_Ouch! Hot, feisty but hot."_

Rachel gasped a little, waking up. Why the hell did she just have a dream about before? Out of all the things she could dream of, _he_ had to be in it. To her, it sucked big time. The guy who would piss her off, give her flirtatious comments, and sometimes insult her dignity and pride had to be in her dreams. In a way, she was grateful he wasn't involved in one of her dreams that was R18+ rated… not that she had dreams like that… awkward silence right now.

Shivering slightly since she didn't bring a spare jumper after being slushied, she scanned her surroundings for her blanket. Oddly, she couldn't find it so she mentally decided to grab the first thing she perceived in the dark – a jacket. Rachel carefully grabbed it where it lay near her legs and wrapped it around her slender body, warmth from the silky article of clothing immediately making her body regenerating heat. She moved her way closer to the warm pillow that made her feel comfortable, and nestled her head on it gently. A smile spread across her plump lips, shutting her mocha eyes and slowly drifting off to sleep.

_"Why did you just do that? There is like nothing on your hair."_

"_So there is no slushie in my hair?"_

"_Ohh about that… you see I wanted a reason to hold you."_

"_Damn you jerk."_

"_What? I was cold and I needed something to keep me warm and you happened to be the answer."_

"_Your pick-up lines suck; go try them out on someone else."  
_  
Today was such a long and tiring day, especially for her having to deal with a pervert, asshole, idiot, flirtatious imbecile, badass, juvenile freak – all the same person. Rachel was just glad she was safe in her room, and that nothing can annoy her now. She sighed heavily, snuggling deeper, her somewhat firm but gentle pillow relaxing her head, and tugging on the jacket to have minimum goosebumps.

Somehow, she felt something snake around her hips, causing Rachel to open her eyes, scared. Precariously, she turned her head, ready to scream when she saw it was none other than an arm. This literally freaked Rachel out, finding out that someone had smuggled a dead body in McKinley High, let alone she was resting her head on top of one.

Cue a muffled scream.

That was until she saw whose arm it belonged to, staring at their visage, her worst nightmare herself: Noah Puckerman. She gasped, covering her mouth so he wouldn't wake up. Unfortunately for her, he slowly began to open his gorgeous eyes, his vision blurry. After a while, it registered on the first thing he saw – that annoying hell of a diva Rachel Berry… whose head was lying gracefully on his chest.

The part our favourite bad boy loved the most – she was now in a position that was very, very suggestive, something he couldn't get out of his head. Bad Puck, bad, get those dirty thoughts out of your head.

A smirk grew on his face. "Well, looks like little miss sexy has entered the dark side."

Rachel began to protest, but it just gave Puck the opportunity to wrap his arm around Rachel's waist even more. She tried to push herself off of him, but it just made her now lie on top of him. As much as Rachel was horrified about the outcome, Puck was enjoying every minute of it. If this was what heaven was like, he wanted it to be like that forever.

"Didn't know you wanted to take it to the next level, I mean if you want we can skip first base and go straight to second, or if you really can't resist my manliness, let's just jump to home already. What do you say about that?"

"I'd say you're a complete jackass and a buffoon for even suggesting that."

"Oh come on! You know you want too."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"I do, don't you worry about that. And I know you do, you keep looking at my handsome face and admire my special qualities and abilities."

"Like slushing people? Retorting unnecessary comments and derogatory words? Picking on people that have a lower status than you on the social ladder?"

"What? I am not like that, and I was referring to my pecks, my abs, and don't get me started on my guns!"

"Nice, but I don't care! And that's not what I'm looking for in my perfect man."

"Whatever it is, I'm all of it, except for prissy – that's you."

"You know what Puck? Screw you!"

"You know what? That ain't a bad idea, how about it?"

"AGHHH!"

_************_

Meanwhile…

Glee rehearsal had just finished, and the Glee gang was laughing at Finn's perspective on throwing Rachel in the little room. They all halted when they heard arguing in the room itself.

"You know what Puck? Screw you!"

"You know what? That ain't a bad idea, how about it?"

"AGHHH!"

The gang tried to laugh, but contained themselves to muffled chuckling. Kurt smiled, placing his hand across his heart while tapping Katy that lay blandly on his mop of luscious hair. "Sigh, young love. Always in denial, but not for long." He grabbed Katy from his head and started making googly eye expressions with it, puckering his lips to the object clutched in his hand.

"Guys, I think I'm ready to take my relationship with Katy to the next level," Kurt announced, but quietly since he didn't want the bickering couple locked up in the room to stop, well… bickering.

Brittany awed, Mercedes, Artie and Tina looked at him like he was stupid, and the rest all gave him a clueless expression. "Uh… who is Katy?" Finn questioned, brave enough to break the eerie silence – apart from the banters from… must I say who?

Kurt gasped, his eyes filled with anger. "Gasp, you did not just say that? Did he just say that?" he asked his fellow Glee members, who in return just nodded their heads, except for Brittany who shouted, "Repeat what you said Finn."

"How can you not know who Katy is, we've been the most talked about couple since we hooked up!" he shouted, raising his oh so cute voice a little.

"But you supposedly 'hooked up' just today," Artie interjected, emphasizing his words.

"Stop it Artie, not only are you insulting me, you're also insulting my dear Katy," Kurt explained annoyed. He held Katy in front of the paraplegic wheelchair user's visage, his expression smug. "Apologize."

Artie got confused. "What?"

Mercedes cut in. "Kurt, it's just a stupid hat. Besides, you're gonna leave it for another item of clothing anyway."

Kurt did that 'nu-uh' thing with his finger in front of his sassy friend. "Nu-uh, and by the way, Katy is _not_ stupid; _you're_ stupid for suggesting that. I've never had this connection with any of my belongings before. She shares the same pain as me and you are all just jealous that _Kurty_ is going stronger than PuckleBerry."

Quinn glanced at him stupidly. "You actually gave yourself one of those hook-up names used on celebrities?"

Finn nodded with his pregnant girlfriend. "Yeah, and what's PuckleBerry? Is that a fruit?"

Groans came out from everyone, who all left the still confused Finn. "What did I say?"

Quinn came back for her boyfriend, pulling him by his ear while he complained about the pain. "No wonder why you failed English."

_************_

Puck gushed like a lovesick fool when Rachel scrunched her nose with disgust, hidden freckles popping out on her visage. If only she knew how cute she just looked right now.

"You are on my death wish Noah Puckerman," Rachel threatened, interrupting his sudden sappy thoughts evaporating from thin air.

Puck leaned closer to her ear, chuckling. "Is that so? And by the way, nice jacket."

Rachel glanced to where her jacket lay wrapped around her legs, gasping in horror. It wasn't her jacket, it was _his_ jersey jacket. Oh crap, no. She reached out for the jacket, and chucked it at his face.

Puck mumbled into the jacket. "Wow, Berry's legs were wrapped around my jacket and I didn't even persuade her to do it. The guys now owe me ten bucks."

That was when Rachel noticed her surroundings. She wasn't in her room, why would her room have several types of brooms and buckets, have a lot of dirt everywhere, and not have a bed? There was only one place she could think of that she and Puck were in…

"Oh shit!" she cursed, getting off of Puck to open the door. What do you know? It's locked. Panicking, Rachel banged on the door, demanding someone to open it right now.

However, Puck didn't understand her motives. "Berry, I don't really know what you are doing, but just sit your ass down next to me right now," he exclaimed, patting the empty space next to him.

Rachel just ignored him and kept yelling. Puck rolled his eyes, got up, flexed his muscles a bit, and trudged towards the screaming petite girl banging furiously at the hollow door. "Step aside darling, let a real man show you how it's done."

He gently shoved Rachel to the side, and kicked the door. The kick was so loud that the door would open… but it didn't. Annoyed, Puck kicked the door a few more times, banging himself to it, even chucking a few buckets at it. No movement from the door whatsoever.

Puck groaned, rubbing his muscles. "Ow, my poor guns are now deflated."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "How egotistical of you, and what a great way to show what a real man you really are." She had to admit that when he gently moved her from the enclosed door, her goosebumps resurfaced and it wasn't because she was wearing a shirt and skirt, and when he hurled himself towards the door, a part of her somehow made her feel the same pain he did.

Puck glanced up to the girl trapped with him, annoyed. "Well you go try doing that then."

"I don't want to act like a total Neanderthal, that's more of your job," she answered, crossing her arms across her chest, huffing.

"You got one part right – I _am_ wild," he stated, winking at her. His face then turned serious. "Why were you banging like a psycho girl that seemed drunk and had some drugs?"

Rachel scoffed. "Firstly, I have morals to obtain, and drugs and alcohol are not one of them. Secondly, I'm not a psycho, and thirdly, don't you know what room we are in now?"

Puck stared at anywhere but the girl in front of him. When she finished her speech, he sneered at her. "Oh, you done? Good and all I know is that I'm in a room _with you_."

After he had said that, Rachel's cheeks started to burn up. One, the last few words he had just said to her, "_I'm in a room with you,"_ made her feel queasy in her stomach _and_ her heart, and two; his face was only a few inches apart. Puck seemed to realize this as well as he noticed in the dark that Rachel moved her head to the side. Puck seemed to smile at that – it turned out all the girls couldn't resist him, even the wannabe diva herself.

"Incase you have failed to notice, we are both locked in the _janitor's closet_!" Rachel whispered angrily.

Puck glanced at Rachel oddly. "And you are angry about this why?"

Rachel gave a quiet shrill, raising her hands up in the air. "Because I'm stuck with you!"

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"Uh… because it is!"

_************_

Nothing had change after being locked in the dreaded janitor's closet with their worst nightmare for over three and a half hours. Rachel was still banging on the hollow door, yelling for anyone to let them out, while Puck lazily just sat on the ground, listening to his iPod and watching Rachel making a complete fool out of herself in the dark. To be honest, Puck actually had dreams like these – when he and Rachel were stuck in a predicament and in the end, they would be making out like there was no tomorrow. Oh how he loved those dreams so much, it made him feel what all teenaged boys feel in their adolescent stage. You can figure it out yourselves if you know what I mean…

Puck stopped fantasizing when he heard no more banging from the darling herself. He perceived Rachel leaning on the door, wrapping her arms around her legs, and whimpering to herself. Even though it was still dark, he noticed she was wiping a few tears off of her rosy cheeks. Sighing, he stood up and walked over to her, careful not to trip over anything, since they still hadn't found the light switch yet.

Rachel peeked up, seeing the mohawked boy towering over her. "What do you want now? Come to laugh at this situation, or say more endearments to me?"

Puck seemed stung by her words. Sure, he loved pushing her buttons but deep down he was someone with feelings. He sat next to the teary-eyed girl and motioned for a hug. Rachel looked at him as if he was on fire. "What are you doing?"

"I'm cold," Puck stated while smirking, his voice whining a little. How could he not turn down this opportunity to make more fun of her?

"Go grab your jacket," Rachel hissed quietly, rubbing her arms.

"It's too far to get it," Puck whined even more.

Rachel stared at him like he was stupid. "It's an arm's length away."

Puck retorted. "But it's too far!"

"You keep saying you're a man, now prove it."

"I'll show you how manly I am if I can get into your pants."

"You disgusting creep of a human being."

"But I'm _your_ disgusting creep of a human being."

"Puck, shut up for once in your life."

"No can do Berry. You would miss all the hot 'endearments' I say to you and you will definitely miss my sexy voice."

Rachel sighed. There was no point arguing with Puck, she was going to die with him anyway. "We're going to die. I'm never going to be well-known and live the glamorous life, and you won't live to take care of your child."

This caught Puck off guard. How did he know about the whole pregnancy thing with Quinn?

"I don't know what you are talking about," Puck immediately responded with, looking away from Rachel.

"I know about the situation that you and Quinn are in, and I know that she is pregnant, and the baby is yours. You can deny all you want, I know that you know that I'm right," Rachel explained with more detail.

Puck sighed, for once no comebacks or flirtatious comments running through his skull. "Who told you this?"

One response from Rachel answered everything. "Mercedes."

"Damn bitch can't keep her mouth shut," Puck mumbled, shifting his position slightly on the closet floor.

"Mercedes may be a loud mouth at times, but she is a good friend. She is always there for me, and I'll always be there for her. And I know that if she saw that kid that slushied me, she would eat him alive, and Kurt would be there to bitch-slap the guy," she remarked, wrapping her arms around herself.

"That loser has already been taken care of," Puck mumbled, cracking his knuckles. This got Rachel to glance at him coyly and concerned. "What did you just say?"

"Karma will hit him that's for sure," Puck stated, changing his words. To be truthful, he didn't want Rachel to know that after she was slushied in front of the entire student body and after she ran away, he had beat up that asshole. Like he told himself before, he needed to be her knight in shining armour, since she was vulnerable at the school, but he wanted to be hidden, like a dark knight or something. Actually, he liked that more than being the 'knight in shining armour' – it made him look like a punce, and Noah Puckerman was not a punce.

"Who was it?" Rachel suddenly enquired.

He turned to face her. "What now?"

"Who was it that… you know, threw the…" Rachel began to say, hoping Puck knew what she was referring to.

Puck didn't know who it was actually. In fact, did the guy even go to their school? "Some guy wearing some really big shades, wearing a jersey jacket and some old hat grandparents would wear," Puck remembered. Oh how he wanted to beat up the guy again… he wondered what ever happened to him after.

Rachel sighed. "It doesn't even matter who the guy was, I'm pretty sure you found it more amusing."

Puck looked at her oddly and unsure. "What do you mean?"

"You would actually ask that question? You should know the answer by now; I mean you always throw a slushie in my face anyway, so I should've known that it was you who planned the whole thing," she explained even more.

Puck got angry that he was accused of something he didn't do. "You think I planned this? Are you nuts or something?"

"It's your area of expertise and you always love throwing slushies in my face."

"If this is my area of expertise, then I would've slushied you myself."

"Why didn't you then?"

"'Cause a) the dweeb did it for me, and b) I happen to be a human being with emotional feelings like everyone in the world."

"You really? Boy, I wouldn't have guessed that."

Puck smirked a little on the petite girl sitting next to him, who was shivering slightly. His smirk faded slightly, feeling sympathetic for the girl. If only there was something he could do to make her – for once, instead of all the quarrels – smile, and really mean it. Shuffling a little, he reached for his jersey jacket and handed it to Rachel. Her eyes widened, wondering what the bad boy was up to, so she raised one eyebrow to question his actions.

Puck chuckled. "Relax darling, I did what you told me to do – grab my jacket. And because I'm a good Samaritan and all, I gave it to you. Now what do you say to your hero?" he turned his face to the side, so Rachel was facing his right cheek.

Rachel chucked back the jacket to Puck's face, the jacket literally covering his visage. "Good Samaritan my ass."

Puck took the jacket off his face, smirking. "Would you prefer my jacket or my hugs? Well, I wouldn't care what you pick because either way, it would involve me so I don't mind. Although if I was you, I would definitely pick the second option, because-"

Immediately, Rachel took his jacket from him, resulting to Puck smirking his butt off. "Knew you couldn't resist me, even if you chose my jacket over me, but don't worry, you will come crawling to me anyway. They all do."

Rachel slipped on the jacket, glad her arms were rapidly warm. There was a problem though – it looked like a beanbag was thrown over her. She wondered if Puck noticed this too. Unfortunately for her, he did, because now he was laughing his ass off.

"Noah Puckerman, shut the _fuck_ up!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rewind, rewind all the way… and pause. Recap session - is it just me or did Rachel Berry just swear the ultimate swear word?"

"Ha ha, very funny, now shut up before I make you."

"That's okay; I'm ready to have a make-out session anyway. Who starts, me or you?"

"You barnacle head."

Puck chuckled and stood up, pacing back to where he woke up before, and sat back down, positioning himself and beginning to relax. He placed his hands at the back of his mohawked head, fingers intertwined, staring at the dim window light at the top of the wall opposite him. Even with the light from the window, it still wasn't bright enough to find the light switch… did the janitor's closet even have a light switch?

Since Puck had moved away from her, Rachel's warmth had died down, and felt colder than before. She tried huddling her knees, wrapping her arms around her legs while trying to cover both her slender legs and arms with the jersey jacket. Puck perceived this, and took this as an advantage to piss her off even more. "Still cold honey bunny?"

Rachel stared at him from the opposite side of the janitor's closet. "Something you can't fix."

"Sure I can, come sit here," Puck motioned. Pity, he was motioning to his…

Rachel scrunched her nose with disgust, and scoffed. "Eww! I will not sit on your lap!"

"Well, I know you don't like to get your clothes dirty and such, so I wouldn't recommend sitting on the ground, but then how will you sleep, like a zombie? Please, knowing you, you'd be like the K-man and needs their beauty sleep," Puck stated, his eyes still focused on the dim light.

"I can manage thanks," she concluded, resting her head on the door to attempt to sleep.

"Fine, have it your way," Puck uttered, his eyelids closed.

_************_

For thirty minutes, Rachel tried to sleep, but it was hopeless. She was so darn cold, and she didn't want her clothing to get too dirty. She wasn't a germ freak like Miss. Pillsbury but she didn't want germs and bacteria and all to crawl all over her in the middle of the night, since this _was_ the janitor's closet. She glanced at where Puck was, sitting in the same position, his hands still; intertwined resting at the back of his partially bald head. That was when his offer immediately popped up in her mind.

No fricking way would she do it. She had some morals to obtain, and if she was famous, it would be a scandal if everyone found out she was sleeping on some juvenile idiot's lap. However, she felt like she had no choice anyway. Precariously, she got up, tiptoeing her way to the sleeping rebel. When she reached him, she unhurriedly sat on his lap, making sure that her skirt covered up her mid-thigh area so he wouldn't get any dirty and erotic ideas. Knowing him, she begged to differ.

Instantly, her legs, as well as her arms were warm once again. She smiled that she could finally sleep in peace, and the fact that she didn't wake him. Rachel nestled her head on Puck's chest, his breathing in an even pace, making her feel more sleepy. Closing her eyelids, she quietly sighed, feeling relaxed and glad that warmth had regenerated into her body once again.

Poor thing however didn't know that Puck opened one eye, smirking at Rachel's final decision to sit on his lap. Since their conversation ended half an hour ago, he was awake the whole time, but he kept hearing Rachel moving about uncomfortably, and he vowed to himself that he wouldn't sleep until she fell asleep peacefully. Now that she was comfortable enough, he could finally dream. He wished somehow that everyone knew that Rachel Berry was sitting and sleeping happily on his lap, if only his phone didn't die out on him before. Oh well, at least he could always dream about the incident over and over again.

Pity, the whole time she and Puck were trapped inside, they didn't seem to notice a camera, flashing red repeatedly, zooming in on the two because a) who would've thought that the bad boy and the good girl that hated each other so much would be stuck in a sticky situation where they were very much _close_ to each other, and b) the conversation between the two was still going, even if it was a quick one.

"Knew you couldn't resist me."

"I thought you were asleep?"

"Couldn't, because of your shuffling. Why you were shuffling? You missed my warmth and wanted to get close to me as possible, that's why."

"Puck, shut up, I'm too tired. Goodnight."

"Night cherry Berry."

"Shut it."

"You love it."

"Oh I would love it… love it for you to shush! I'm trying to be comfortable."

"On my lap, remember? And to think you could be moving about in that corner on the floor, freezing to death, and I gave you an offer and you turn it down and what's this? You're on my lap! See, like I said before, I'm such a good Samaritan."

"And like I said before, Good Samaritan my ass."

* * *

**_Anyhoos, I will NOT do anymore Spongey Bungy quotes no more. I know you're sad, I can see the disappointment in your eyes. Why you may ask? Because I was trying to look for some last night, and I clicked on a webbie that said that the website itself was safe to click on. Then the page just closes itself, and a minute later, what is this I see? SOME STUPID POP-UP TELLING ME THAT MY LAPTOP HAS BEEN INFECTED WITH MANY THREATS AND VIRUSES. And I thought me and SpongeBob were friends... our friendship is soo over!_**

**_So, my good friends, DON'T LOOK FOR SPONGEBOB QUOTES. And if you do, go wiki. Yeah, I know they make up stuff, but it's better than one that will destroy you. Now I can't even go on the internet on my laptop. :'( but I'm on my dad's comp. Thank God that works._**

**_And worse, the anti-spyware thing on my laptop doesn't even work anymore. Again, sucks to be me._**

**_Oh well, just promise me one thing for me...  
SMIGGLE!!!  
R&R!!!_**


	5. Double DOUBLE Chemistry

**_You all thought I had disappeared forever... never!!! Once I have an idea on my mind, I never abandon it... unless it's English homework because I will definitely abandon any English hw since I pretty much suck at the subject I can speak fluently with._**

**_And I can't believe it has been nearly a month since I updated this. Blame my stupidiotic brother for hogging the computer and downloading so many useless crap from YouTube. At least HE wasn't the one who put the virus on the laptop -w-_**

**_Disclaimer: See previous chappies_**

**_So, enough of my blah blah blahs and read, read, READ while I watch Rush Hour! Note to self: VERY LONG CHAPPIE!! You have been warned._**

* * *

"_Night cherry Berry."_

"_Shut it."_

"_You love it."_

"_Oh I would love it… love it for you to shush! I'm trying to be comfortable."_

"_On my lap, remember? And to think you could be moving about in that corner on the floor, freezing to death, and I gave you an offer and you turn it down and what's this? You're on my lap! See, like I said before, I'm such a good Samaritan."_

"_And like I said before, Good Samaritan my ass."_

A click of a button occurred, gasps filling the room. Uttered silence until… "REWIND PRONTO!"

Next thing to happen, the same voices filled the Glee room, the same voices that really needed to see that beyond their exterior they both wanted each other badly, the same voices that were locked up in the janitor's closet. In a way, they sort of deserved to be locked in that dreaded room, they just needed to shut up.

"_See, like I said before, I'm such a good Samaritan."_

"_And like I said before, Good Samaritan my ass."_

Another click of a button occurred yet again, more awkward silences, this one seemed to be much longer than the first, until yet the same voice boomed aloud, "Repeat s'il vous plaît!" And once again, the same voices were repeated again and again and again.

And once again, the same person who happened to be the fashionista wanted it to be heard again. After seventeen times being repeated, someone took the remote from Kurt's hands and threw it at the musical posters on the wall. The New Directions clan turned to perceive who would do something pretty stupidiotic like that.

"Hey, I was watching that!" Kurt blasted at the person who threw the one device that controlled and showed how much chemistry Puck and Rachel really had going on in the janitor's closet.

"Sorry Kurt, but Matt said that you were playing with a bomb and that it would explode any minute," Brittany apologetically said to a now furious Kurt.

"And you actually believed him?" Kurt questioned to the Cheerio cheerleader.

"I didn't think she would actually do it, but it was funny," Matt articulated in his defence, crossing his arms across his jersey, snickering. Someone nudged him on the head, making him topple over towards the ground.

"That's my girl you're talking about," Mike shouted to Matt.

"Sorry man," Matt apologized to his buddy and Brittany.

Mike helped up his friend from the ground. "I forgive you man."

"Man, stop saying man!" Kurt shrilled, causing Katy to fall off from on top of his mop of hair. Kurt gasped, picking up his love from the floor, dusting it with all his might. "Quick, does someone know CPR?"

"Kurt, it's just a stupid hat," Mercedes told her friend, annoyed at him.

"FYI, Katy isn't just a hat. And she isn't stupid, she has sensitive hearing," Kurt whispered, darting his eyes back and forth.

Mercedes turned to her fellow Glee club members, questioning the same look that got everyone wondering. _'What the hell is up with Kurt and that hat?'_

"Anyways moving on. Who wants to watch it again?" Quinn perked up, breaking the awkward silence.

Everyone's hand went up, while Kurt raised both of his hands. Confused, Quinn asked the boy, "Why are you putting up two hands?"

Kurt sighed. "Because I want to watch it, and Katy wants to watch it too," he said in a monotonous tone, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Guys, you've been watching the whole thing three times already," Mr. Schue proclaimed, annoyed that his students were ignoring their rehearsing time to go watch what Puck and Rachel were doing in that enclosed room. Sure, Mr. Schue knew that the kids had locked them up, I mean he was the one that suggested locking them there in the first place, but he didn't think that they were all obsessed with what they were doing every second. There wasn't much to see anyway because they were still sleeping, Rachel leaning her head on Puck's chest, while Puck held onto her protectively.

Mr. Schue was just glad the bell went, commencing another brand new day, and also glad that he didn't have to watch his Glee kids rewinding to Puck and Rachel's conversations in the closet. Now that he thought about it, where did he put the key for the janitor's closet?

_************_

"_You were born to be my baby, and baby I was made to be your man," a male's voice sang, the strums of a guitar following his voice. "We've got something to believe in, even if we don't know where we stand."_

_Rachel smiled at the male, couldn't believe that he would dedicate and sing a song for her in front of not just the Glee club, but in front of the whole school. She was very impressed that his vocal chords matched the song perfectly. She swayed her head from side to side, flashing her pearly whites to the man while he kept singing. "Only God would know the reason, but I bet he must've had a plan, 'cause you were born to be my baby, and baby I was made to be your man."_

_Suddenly, a light shone on her, the spotlight all on her now. Everything around her faded away, except for the one person she was smiling at as he began to finish his song. "You were born to be my baby, and baby I was made..."_

_The person stopped playing their guitar and had reached Rachel, and held out his hand for her to take. She took it, beaming at the person and gracefully paced her way towards the middle of the room with him leading the way. They both stopped as he said one final thing that would only be heard in her ears._

_"...And baby I was made... to be your man." Rachel smiled at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him while he held onto her waist protectively. Then, she kissed the figure. The scene zoomed out, revealing that Rachel was kissing Puck._

OMG shut up, rewind and pause. Rachel kissing Puck?

Immediately, Rachel fidgeted a little, waking up slowly. It took the diva a while to figure out that it wasn't real, it was just a dream. As if she would ever kiss a football player, let alone Puck. Back then, she wished it was Finn, but now she somehow lost interest in him. She had some morals to obtain, and that also included avoiding herself away from someone that was juvenile like Puck. Unfortunately for her, he kept invading that boundary of hers.

Something was holding her around the waist, but Rachel ignored it and snuggled her head deeper into her 'pillow'. A sudden thought came to her mind – _why does my pillow feel soo… hard?_

She placed her hand on it, touching it in a few places, even gently squeezing certain parts. She could've sworn she heard something beating that wasn't her heart. That was when she heard a groan that definitely did not sound like her at all. Her waist was now held tighter than before, as well as feeling something wrapped around them. She glanced down to see a pair of arms wrapped around her hips, fingers intertwined with each other. Only one thought was present in her mind.

_Oh God, I did not just do it with a stranger._

Rachel heard a small chuckle from above her, and glanced in that direction. Too late, she was now staring at the blinking eyes of Puck, which seemed to have a mysterious glint in them. "Morning sunshine," he announced, smirking deviously at her.

_Oh God, I did not just do it with Puck. _

Then Rachel remembered everything that had happened yesterday. She remembered Mr. Schuester assigning her to do a mash-up with Puck, her being slushied by someone in front of Puck, a perverted Puck chatting her up in the girl's bathroom, her being locked up in the janitor's closet with Puck... why did Puck have to be involved with everything that included her? Was this fate or just really bad karma?

"Is someone thinking hard about me, or is it something really dirty and scandalous?" Puck questioned, wiggling his eyebrows mischieviously.

Rachel glared at the boy staring back at her. "As if I would think of a jackass like you, and I have some morals to obtain. I'm not a perverted buff like you." Rachel crossed her arms, looking towards the dim light from the window on top of the closet.

"But I'm your perverted buff," Puck expressed, sneering. His face changed to an expression that looked like he was actually thinking. Pity, it was an egotistical comment. "Did you just say that I'm buff?"

Rachel's chocolate eyes widened, realising that she indeed say that he was buff. She bowed her head down, her cheeks warming up. Puck noticed this and smirked his butt off, seeking a brand new opportunity to mess with his favourite wannabe diva.

"You soo have the hots for me."

"Please, you wish I did."

"Don't lie to me babe. You and I both know it's true. You want this man candy."

"You know what? You're right Puck."

"Of course I am right... wait, what?" Puck couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was just trying to mess with her, but he didn't expect to hear a confession from her. A confession which proved what he was trying to get out from her ever since the beginning of high school.

Rachel smirked deviously, gazing admiringly at the football player. "You heard me Puck, I want you. I want you soo bad...," she stated seductively, giving him a flirty wink.

Puck liked this very much indeed, wanting to hear the following words from her luscious lips again and again. Heck, he didn't want it to end. Damn Rachel Berry for making him all lusty over three words. She wrapped her arms around his neck, huddling comfortably in his lap, while all Puck could do was get hornier that normal. He didn't think he could control himself any longer.

Rachel then placed both of her hands on each side of his face, lifting Puck's visage lower so they were both eye level with each other. Leaning her face closer so they were only a few inches apart, she repeated her words again. "I want you Puck..."

Puck was expecting a kiss but he didn't expect what was coming next.

"...to get your arms off of me!" And with that, SLAP went her hand with his face, and a whine came from Puck's mouth.

With Puck touching the sting from where Rachel had slapped him, Rachel was free from Puck's grasp and immediately banged on the door to let her out. After five minutes of calling out for help, the only response she got was the agonizing whimpers from the boy behind her.

"Ow! You hit like a girl!" Puck whined, half of his face the colour of a tomato.

Rachel turned around to face him before continuing with her cries for help. "And what do you think I am?"

"A feisty girl. I like that," Puck said, in between from rubbing his face from the pain.

"Stop sooking like a baby, get up and help us find a way to be free from this place," Rachel affirmed.

Puck shook his head. "But I like this place. We're alone, in a room, hinting we should be making out right now, and no one is watching."

Little did he know.

"I never ever want to suck face with beings like you."

"Well, there is always Plan B..."

"And what would Plan B be?"

"Remember our talk with the whole _dictionary_ thing..."

"OMG Noah Puckerman, you are a disgusting, vile, cruel-hearted man to ever walk on this planet! You and your pick-up lines can go take a hike!"

"Only if you come with me I will."

"One more of those flirt lines and I swear to God I will cut your balls and throw it in the shredding machine to be shredded."

Before Puck could add a sly remark, he shut his mouth when he saw that Rachel was giving him a death glare, her chocolate eyes full of scarlet. She was pretty much dead serious about her statement, and with her fired up made her seem like Satan. Add a red devil suit and devil horns and it would make her seem like a _sexy_ Satan... bad thoughts, bad thoughts Puck, get them out of your head.

Hearing no comeback, Rachel beamed at him, proud that she stood up to him and he just stood there speechless. Even though yesterday had started out as a rough patch, maybe Rachel's luck turned around for the better. Maybe all the bad karma involving her was changing in a brighter perspective.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Puck saying a sentence that made all her hopes vanish completely. "You soo would love the way my balls feel like anyway."

Rachel groaned, frustrated. Or maybe the bad karma was just finding a way to bite deeper into her ass.

Little did the two of them know...

_************_

It was lunchtime, and the cafeteria was packed. Mercedes, Tina and Artie were queuing in the line to grab some food. Since it would probably take them until the end of time to actually be served, they were discussing their favourite topic and its current issue.

"Sh-should we l-l-let th-them out?"

"Heck no! I haven't laughed this hard in forever since watching Rush Hour on TV."

"Uh, Mercedes... that was on last Saturday."

"I know, but this is some funny stuff we have on PuckleBerry. Can you believe the audio that we have on them from last week reached more than a million hits on YouTube?"

"And can you believe our PuckleBerry group in Facebook has more than seventy-two-thousand members, and we only made the group only last Thursday?"

"Th-th-that i-is amaz-z-zing!"

The trio made it to the front of the line, grabbed three trays and packed almost the entire food selection that was available, and more than three boxes of buttery popcorn. The lunch ladies all looked disgusted, wondering why three teenagers would want to eat almost the whole food supply. Mercedes smiled at the lunch lady, immediately stuffing herself with popcorn. "Quinn," she stated, the one word that seemed to solve any unanswered questions. "And you know how hormones drive pregnant women crazy."

Before the lunch lady could respond, Mercedes grabbed two trays and ran, with Tina pushing Artie in his wheelchair and him holding the rest of the food supply behind her, bursting out of the cafeteria like mad men. They stopped at a corner, and pissed themselves laughing, pacing their way towards the Glee room.

"Hell yeah! Fly me some fingers baby!"

"We sh-sh-should d-def-defin-defintely put the vi-video of th-them in the cl-closet in You-YouTube as well."

"Tina, shut up! We should? We _will_ do that!"

"Do what?"

The trio stood frozen and stared at the person who said those words that could possibly ruin everything. They sighed with relief when they saw it was none other than Finn who said those words.

"Post the vid to YouTube," Artie responded for the trio.

"That would be grouse," Brittany chirped up from behind Finn, grabbing the trays of food from Artie and Mercedes. She then stood frozen, thinking for a moment. "Or gross. Is it grouse or gross?"

"Peoples," shouted Kurt, who was happily nibbling on some popcorn from Katy. "Don't mean to interrupt your tea party or anything like that, but I would like all of you to move your rears so we can watch the movie!"

They obliged, and as soon as everyone had some item of food – Quinn had more food than the rest like Mercedes said, "...hormones drive pregnant women crazy," – they sat back, munched down on their glorious 'healthy' and 'nutritional' lunch and watched what had gone down in the janitor's closet while they had classes to attend to.

Lucky for the New Directions clan, there was a spare remote for the TV so once again, Kurt rewinded to the hilarious parts of the video, and once again Matt was tempted to make Brittany make a fool out of herself by this time telling her that Kurt was holding a _very little_ poisonous snake instead of a bomb. They all thought that nothing could ruin their lunchtime or the sexual chemistry and banters between the two polar opposites.

Little did they know...

_************_

"Damnit, where the hell did I put it?"

While the Glee kids were watching Rachel and Puck in the janitor's closet with amusement, Mr. Schue had other problems to deal with. His problems weren't that important but the main predicament kept nagging him in his mind. What was this problem of his? Where he put the key for the janitor's closet.

It may have been his idea to lock them there in the first place, but Mr. Schue knew that if they didn't get out sooner or later... it's not best to say. It just would be another sticky situation that would defiantly involve him. Rummaging through his desk drawers, Mr. Schue was panicking big time. He didn't want his kids to be locked up in that room forever, no matter how much time they need to work out their differences. Focused on finding that one small brassy object was his main desire that he didn't even feel the touch of someone tapping him on the shoulder, until...

"Will?"

"Mummy!" he shrieked, raising his hands up in the air in a surrender fashion, with sheets of paper floating all over his office. He raised his eyes when he realised _who_ was in the exact same room with him.

"_Mum? You thought I was your mother!?" _

Mr. Schue groaned inwardly, and tried not to yawn at Sue Sylvester's face. "I know that I may be old and still looking pretty damn sexy, but your mother? No offence Will but that's just pretty messed up."

"What do you want Sue?" Mr. Schue didn't have time for this. Out of all the people in the school, he wished he locked up Sue in the janitor's closet instead of Puck and Rachel. It would actually give him a reason to smile whenever he thought of Sue, all locked up in some small, dirty, murky, dark closet.

"Oh nothing, just wanted to come by and talk about our _special arrangement_ of ours."

Crap, how could he forget about that?

"If you're trying to make me give you the setlist for sectionals, then you're wrong-"

"Not that you bumhead. Although that is actually smart, why didn't I think of that? I'll use it later but for now, I'm talking about this 'operation dazzlehead'-"

"Operation PuckleBerry-"

"Did anyone fail to tell you that sounds like a piece of exotic fruit? Hmm, makes me want to have some now. Now that I think about it, it makes me sound like a cannibal and Sue Sylvester does not feast on humans... well, except if they are puny and weak because it seems fun to pick on the sad ones."

A very awkward silence is present between the two rivals.

"Uh... okay. What do you want to know about the plan?"

"How it's all going."

Mr. Schue would never believe Sue Sylvester's words on anything in general, but for this he actually believed her. He probably was going insane for even trusting Sue on this, but she had the same ambition as he did, so he needed an extra ally to support and back him up if this plan was going to succeed.

"Well, it's going surprisingly great."

"And the footage?"

"Surprisingly, hilarious. Watched a bit of it myself, in fact more than fifteen times."

"Will my dear, you really need to get a hobby, and no, Glee isn't one of them. Now I came to give this to you because I'm not cruel hearted, unlike you."

Okay, now was the time to not believe Sue's words.

So that was where he left the key, with Sue Sylvester? How? That was when it hit him. It wasn't any of the Glee kids' idea for Puck and Rachel to be together, it was actually his and Sue's idea, as unusual as that sounded. He remembered discussing the whole banter between the two with fellow co-worker and friend Emma Pillsbury yesterday morning when Sue barged into the convo, telling the two of them that the footballer and the Gleek freak should just get together already. He had two copies of the closet's key, but the Glee footballers already had one, leaving a spare. Sue agreed to helping with his plan on three conditions – one) she had the other spare, two) they would use her ideas, and three) he had to call her, "You're sexiness" everyday. Mr. Schue reluctantly accepted – unhappy about reason #three - but glad that another person was sick of Puck and Rachel yelling retorts at each other but yet, secretly wanting the other.

They both ambled rapidly from his office towards the janitor's closet, hearing banging from the dreaded room. Mr. Schue fumbled with the key a bit, sweat dropping down his forehead. To him, it felt like he was controlling life and death in the palm of his hands, and it started to piss Sue off. "Stop flaunting your blown-up balloons and open the door already!"

Once the key clicked through the lock, Mr. Schue turned the knob, opening the door and swiftly moving out of the way. Good thing too, since Puck and Rachel were banging on the door when it automatically opened. As if in slow motion, they both fell forward, toppling in the direction of the ground.

Puck noticed that Rachel was going to fall first then him and something inside him told him that he didn't want that to happen to her. Like a part of him was somehow controlling him, he gripped his hands on her shoulders, and quickly pushed her back, so now he was going to crash on the ground first. Unfortunately for him, his back hit the ground instead of his face. He was grateful that his gorgeous face, his hot bod and his manhood was still intact.

Until something else fell on top of him. Hearing a high pitched squeal made him realise that Rachel must had lost her footing before when he pushed her away from the ground, resulting to her being on top of him. That was when Puck realised something else – _she_ was _on top_ of _him_!

And what was worse? The position they were in on the floor was very suggestive. How could he not pass an opportunity like this? "If you wanted to be on top, you should've just asked."

This definitely annoyed Rachel. "What did I just say about the pick-up lines?" she shouted, scrunching her nose up with disgust, hidden freckles flaunting her structured phizog.

Puck had a sappy expression on, couldn't think how adorable she looked like that. He shook off his thoughts when she glanced up. He did too, only to realise that students were walking by, watching them in a humorous way, and that Mr. Schue and the Cheerios coach were gazing at them with bewilderment.

"They were locked up in that room and yet they didn't do this in there?" Sue questioned to Will, referring to the suggestive position the two teenagers were in.

Instantaneously, Rachel got off of Puck, straightening her outfit, and running a hand through her mocha hair repeatedly. Puck just whined, his happy moment ruined. He made a mental note to egg Sue's car after today was over.

"What time is it?" Rachel questioned, noting that many students were now leaving the cafeteria which was down the hall.

Puck stepped in and whispered seductively in her ear. "It's time for us to get back into the closet and do something else in there." She turned to face him, seeing him wiggling his eyebrows mischieviously.

"Like what, kicking you where the sun doesn't shine?" Rachel exclaimed, smirking at her remark.

Puck continued to smirk even more, crossing his arms across his muscular chest. "Ooh feisty, I dig that in a chick."

Before the two quarrelling duo could retort back a retort, Sue beat them to it. "This is school. If you want to flirt with each other, go do that in a dog pound. _Satchel_," she articulated, looking at Rachel. "It's lunchtime on a Tuesday, ten more minutes until the final periods commence. And if you really want to be the stereotypical high school student, get some buck teeth and steal those glasses from that wheelies kid, it will go well with your hideous knee high socks."

Sue then turned to Puck, smirking a little. "And _Duck_, diva here is right, your pick-up lines really do suck, and I'm curious to know; do you want to be bold or not? You can't be both. It's like if I want to be a man, but I want to be a woman, you can't be both. Now I'm just contradicting myself, I'm gonna go shut up and walk away right about now."

And with that, she left.

"What a psychopath lady," Puck uttered, watching Sue's retreating form. He felt a hand placed on his shoulder, perceiving Mr. Schue giving him a small smile. "I think of the same thing everyday."

"I can't believe I missed out on a whole day's rehearsal of Glee. I never miss a lesson ever. Puck yes, but not me. I don't want people to pull out a file of me saying that I was tardy in my high school life when I'm number one in the charts!" Rachel exclaimed, throwing a tiny fit in front of her teacher and the boy she despised so much.

"Babe, chill. You've got your whole life ahead of you, so chillax," he explained, motioning his hands as if there was a rainbow in the sky.

"I am the most easygoing person I know thankyou very much!" And with that, Rachel pushed Puck down on the ground again, stomping off away from the bad boy. Unfortunately for her, Puck got back to her feet, chasing after her, leaving Mr. Schue to stare at their retreating forms bewildered.

"How can anyone survive with these two around slitting each other's throats?" Mr. Schue mumbled to himself, following the direction where the teenagers headed. It wasn't that hard, their voices were echoing through the hallway.

"Where do you think you're going 'Miss. Prissy Pants', the closet is that-a-way."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"But I'm going to be your dark knight!"

"Puck, do me a favour and leave me alone!"

"Psshh, and yet my mum says you're a sweet, innocent angel. You're better off as the devil, wearing a red corset and devil horns, and-"

"AGHHH!"

Mr. Schue sighed, grabbing the hidden camera from behind some cardboard boxes in the janitor's closet, closed said room's door and made his way to where he believed the two were heading; towards the Glee room. He just hoped that the other Glee kids were having more fun that he was right now.

Little did he know...

_************_

_"What time is it?"_

_"It's time for us to get back into the closet and do something else in there."_

_"Like what, kicking you where the sun don't shine?"_

_"Ooh feisty, I dig that in a chick."_

Roars of laughter were present in the Glee room. The room was a big mess, lots of popcorn thrown all over the place, as well as nachos, lollies, chips, even a half-eaten piece of hotdog, and spilt soft drinks everywhere. But the people in the Glee room didn't even care, or notice for that matter. They were just focused on one thing at that moment – what – or importantly _who_ – was on the television screen.

"We need to do more than just lock them up in a closet," Quinn affirmed, grabbing a fistful of popcorn and shoving it in her mouth.

Finn wrapped an arm around his girlfriend's shoulder, while she happily munched her delight. "Quinn's right, it needs to be something extreme and unexpected."

"What about hand-cuffing them to each other?" Artie suggested. They all laughed, imagining what it would be like if they actually did that.

"Or kidnapping Rachel somewhere, to see if Puck really cares about her," Matt proposed. "It would show what a 'knight in shining armour' he really is."

"Please, Puck wouldn't even manage to fit in armour anyway, he would destroy a goodwill polished suit that would dazzle if I showed my teeth at it," Kurt piped out, filing his manicured nails.

Chortles came out of a few peoples' mouth as they focused back on the television.

_"Babe, chill. You've got your whole life ahead of you, so chillax."_

_"I am the most easygoing person I know thankyou very much!"_

They all laughed at Puck and Rachel's constant retorts when they noticed Rachel and Puck flee from the screen, Mr. Schue giving the camera a grim look and turning off the camera. Eyes widened, realising that the entertainment just ended, not because Mr. Schue turned off the video connection, it was because they could hear the voices of the bad boy and wannabe diva echoing through the hallway, which happened to be where they were.

"Was not expecting that," Mercedes mumbled.

"The world is over!" Kurt screamed, clutching Katy to his chest, and hiding underneath the piano, rubbing the velvet article of clothing back and forth.

"Kurt's right. Not about the world being over, but... okay, just hide everything!" Finn ordered.

Everyone scurried, grabbing cleaning equipment from one of the cabinets in the room and using mops and brooms to get rid of the evidence of food and spilt drink on the ground, while Mercedes and Tina pushed the television all the way to the back closet.

Meanwhile under the piano, Kurt held Katy in his hands, faking a sob. "I can't cry unless I've seen West Side Story at least one and a half times, so me faking will have to do. Katy, I just want to let you know that I have been thinking, and we should take it to the next level."

Mercedes bent down and dragged Kurt from under the piano. "Kurt, stop watching 2012, you will live past then, and enough with you and your flirts with your stupid hat." She along with everyone else, was getting peeved about Kurt and his new lady love.

Kurt glanced at his sassy friend, annoyed. "What did I tell you before, Katy has sensitive hearing!"

Before anyone could speak, everyone was interrupted with Puck and Rachel's bickering voices echoing closer and closer.

"Puck, do me a favour and leave me alone!"

"Psshh, and yet my mum says you're a sweet, innocent angel. You're better off as the devil, wearing a red corset and devil horns, and-"

"AGHHH!"

Puck and Rachel had just entered the room, with Rachel making her way to Mercedes and Kurt while Puck was checking her ass out, smirking. Everyone glanced at each other, sneering a little, knowing what the plan was going to be next. Mercedes placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, acting all sympathetic to her friend. "Girl, _where have you been_? We've _all been looking for you_."

Matt, Mike and Finn coughed back laughter, with Puck giving them a stoned face look that shut them up.

"I was locked up with that buffoon in the janitor's closet for the whole night," Rachel bellowed, pointing an accusing finger at Puck.

"So I guess you can say we had a 'sleepover'," Puck explained to everyone, smirking and giving a flirtatious wink at Rachel.

Rachel scoffed and rolled her eyes at his antics, completely ignoring him, and turned her attention to Mercedes and Kurt. "Hey Mercedes, Kurt, everyone, as well as Katy," she added, noticing the stink-eye look Kurt gave her before was now a giddy smile.

He poked Mercedes hard on the shoulder, seemingly annoyed. "At least she had the courtesy and decency to acknowledge Katy's presence."

Mercedes sighed a long sigh, frustrated with Kurt. "For the last time Kurt, it's just a stupid hat!"

"And for the last time, sensitive hearing!" he expressed, covering Katy's sides.

"Anyways, moving on. I need a new outfit," Rachel announced to everyone, particularly to the girls and Kurt, rather than the boys.

"I can help you with that," Puck remarked, raising an arm and wiggling his eyebrows.

"Did I ask you? No, so shut up!"

"My idea of an outfit would've been way better than what they would suggest."

"I don't care; it would be more elegant and sophisticated than what you would conjure up."

"Are you saying my outfit selections are something you don't care about? What is this?" Now Kurt was in the conversation, offended with Rachel's statement.

Mercedes pulled Kurt from the collar, whispering to him, "Let them talk. More entertainment to see before the end of the day."

"But she just insulted my honour, my pride, my dignity, my life!" Kurt exclaimed, making it a big deal.

"Well, get over it," she whispered, clearly pissed off at her fashionista friend.

"At least you share my pain Katy. Oh I love you so much," Kurt said quietly to the raven bowler hat in his hands.

Mercedes rolled her eyes and focused her attention at yet another bickering argument from the polar opposites. Unfortunate for her, the bell had rang, signalling students to commence the final periods for Tuesday.

"Why must you drive me crazy?"

"Crazy in a sexy way right?"

"I'm too pissed off to even make a remark about that crude statement."

Rachel stormed off, waving her goodbyes to the Glee club and giving Puck an evil glare, and left the room, collecting her books and making her way to class. Pity, Puck followed after her, doing everything in his will to get her all angered up. And it worked.

"So you admit that I drive you crazy in a sexy way? Now the guys owe me twenty bucks!"

"I don't really care what deals you make with Matt, Finn, Mike, Kurt and Artie, I just want you to get to class to avoid you Noah Puckerman for good."

"You can't get rid of me anyway; you will miss this hunkalicious if I evaporate from thin air."

Just as Rachel and Puck's voices drifted away, Mr. Schue entered the Glee room, noticing every member – minus them – inside, who had resumed picking up their mess since they all had free periods. He began to chuckle, already figuring out what the New Directions clan were doing or watching in the Glee room. Clasped firmly in his hand was none other than the tape containing Puck and Rachel's madness from last night.

"I'm guessing you saw everything?" Mr. Schue asked, smiling a little, already knowing the answer.

He got his answer right away – beaming smiles and chuckles.

"I feel sorry for them right now," Kurt announced, plucking some fluffy cotton off of Katy.

"Why do you say that, you constantly tell us that they should be together," Quinn affirmed, rubbing her vast stomach soothingly.

"Because they have a lot of chemistry together, and the fact that they have _double chemistry_ classes right now as we speak," Kurt explained, an evil grin forming on his visage.

Everyone burst out laughing, understanding Kurt's deciphering code. Even Brittany understood what he meant, well hopefully she did. Finn wiped an imaginary tear off his face, smirking his butt off. "So I guess you can say that they have _double DOUBLE chemistry!_"

* * *

**_Seriously, they need to just admit their feelings for each other, and makeout! Yet I'm the author of this and I'm just yelling for them to STOP DENYING!!! Wow, makes me want to sing that Spice Girls song... "tell me why keep on denying."_**

**_I pray to the FF gods that I will update the next chappie before or on my bday which is like next week. Gotta stop watching Rush Hour on repeat and get type type typing!!!_**

**_And if I don't update until then, all have a Merry Christmas and a joyful Happy New Year or as I like to say it, "HAPPY MERRY NEW CHRISTMAS YEAR!!!"_**

**_SMIGGLE!!!  
R&R!!!_**


	6. Denial Is Not Just A River In Egypt

**_"Wassup my nerd dizzles?" So yes, I am back. I know what you must be thinking, whatever happened to, 'I'll update by next week?' when instead I update like 9 months later? Gee, that is pretty wacko so for that, I grant you all permission to kill, since my licence to kill already expired._**

**_Am very thrilled that Glee is back YAYYYY! You know what this means don't you... more Puck-time to drool over, and hopefully, more PuckleBerry goodness to watch._**

**_Warning: Once again, a longgggggg chapter - was meant to be shorter, but the mind and stomach wasn't satisfied - so you have been warned. OH and Rachel is a potty mouth at the end. Like the end end end... okay I'll shush now so feel free to read the long awaited chapter of this fanfic, while I go watch The Big Bang Theory. LMAOOOO, elevator went boom boom!_**

**_Disclaimer: See previous chappies_**

* * *

"Why must you drive me crazy?"

"Crazy in a sexy way right?"

"I'm too pissed off to even make a remark about that crude statement."

"So you admit that I drive you crazy in a sexy way? Now the guys owe me twenty bucks!"

"I don't really care what deals you make with Matt, Finn, Mike, Kurt and Artie, I just want you to get to class to avoid you Noah Puckerman for good."

"You can't get rid of me anyway; you will miss this hunkaliciousness if I evaporate from thin air."

Rachel rolled her eyes with disgust, running away from him. When he was out of sight, she headed to her locker to grab her needed stationary and equipment, with a small but mysterious smile plastered on her face. After collecting her necessities, she made her way to her first and only class that was on Tuesdays – chemistry. She enjoyed chemistry a lot, especially since her class was learning about subatomic particles, alkanes and alkenes, but nothing could beat her love for performing in the Glee club. She brought her labcoat with her, incase they were going to have a practical lesson instead.

Entering the classroom, she made her way to where she always sat in the back, so she could call first dibs on the closest bench to the equipment and materials needed if they ever did a prac. Since no one was in the room, she began to hum out the song the boys did a mash-up on a few weeks ago. Why she was humming to the song, she had no reason to defend herself on.

_Puck, Puck... speaking of said idiot, where the hell is he?_ She mused to herself. And that was when Rachel realised one downfall of chemistry – _he_ was in her class. Unfortunate for her, but lucky for him.

In fact it is thanks to him that she was sitting at the back. It all started at the beginning of the semester, when new classes began. Although she was peeved that Puck was in her class, she knew he wouldn't sit at the front, even if his life depended on it, hence him sitting at the back of the class. However, Rachel wasn't aware that Puck would annoy and torture her even if he was sitting at the back. Since their chemistry teacher was a grouchy person, she demanded that Rachel and Puck swap seats, with Rachel taking Puck's spot and vice versa... unfortunate for him, meaning he had to sit at the front.

Rachel continued to muse about the fact that ever since that day, Puck never attended chemistry classes. Well, at times he did, but he never stayed for the whole lesson. Rachel knew for sure that today would be like any other chemistry day.

Boy was she wrong with that statement she told herself because someone she didn't expect to see just happened to walk through the door.

* * *

"I must say Will; I really do feel sorry for them."

"Same here Emma, but you gotta admit... the attraction is soo obvious!"

"Are you sure they will be fine with... you know..."

"They should be, I mean from what I've heard, this would be the first time in months that they would be in the same class together for the whole lesson… apart from Glee that is."

"That isn't what's concerning me; my only problem is that they can deal with..."

"Ohhh, well they should be, I mean did you see what happened today with them?"

"I did and I must say, I'm quite impressed."

"I'm even more impressed that they managed not to kill each other during the night!"

"Aww, look at the way he is holding onto her protectively, it's so adorable. They are just perfect for each other."

"If only they could believe it themselves. Popcorn?"

"Certainly."

Emma inspected her piece of popcorn perceptively with a magnifying glass, looking for any germs, before plopping it in her mouth, smiling at Will who in returned smiled back. After hearing some yelling, they both returned to the television screen where they laughed at the hilarious misfortunes that Puck and Rachel had to endure while being locked overnight in the janitor's closet.

* * *

"Ms. Sylvester?" was all Rachel could muster out as she saw the Cheerios coach enter the chemistry classroom, smiling with pride while taking a seat on the teacher's chair. After five seconds, her smile turned upside down and got up, leaving the room. Rachel was curious as to why she fled the room. She didn't need to get off her seat and see for herself as Ms. Sylvester came back inside, dragging something – or someone – by the ear, ignoring their whines and complaints.

Rachel's chocolate eyes widened when she saw _who_ Ms. Sylvester viciously dragged by the ear. At that exact moment, she felt karma was biting much deeper into her ass, and she didn't like it one bit at all.

"Ow, ow, ow!" The person's voice whined out, getting obviously annoyed that a teacher nonetheless was pulling him against his will.

"Oh stop your crying. This wouldn't have happened if you didn't wag class. I'm not gonna punish you, get showbiz girl to do that for you. And since I'm a good teacher, I'll slip you off with a warning and you can go sit at the back with wannabe Mariah," Sue ordered, messing with the boy's Mohawk and poking on his shirt collar. He headed towards the back, still shocked that someone had just messed with his hawk. Didn't anyone know that you don't touch the bad boy's hawk?

He glanced up, only to be smirking at who Ms. Sylvester was referring to. He glanced up to the heavens, thanking them for making this truly one of the best days of his life.

Meanwhile, Rachel had declared that this day was the worst day of her life. First, getting locked in the janitor's closet with him, and now this encounter. Hearing the vacant seat next to her being pulled out; she prayed that he wouldn't piss her off as he had done every single day. But knowing him, her wish would never be granted.

Like now for instance.

"Seeing you yet again Berry? Today must be my lucky day," Puck said nonchalantly, smirking.

Rachel had the nerve to smack off that smirk of his; it was beginning to irritate her. She peeked upwards towards the heavens, a mourning look expressed on her face. "Oh Lord, why did you do this to me? I haven't done anything bad," she pleaded, banging her head lightly on the table.

"Oh come on, you say it like it's a bad thing," Puck stated.

Rachel glanced at the boy next to her, giving him an annoyed look. "That's because _it is_!" she huffed.

All Puck did was cross his arms across his shirt, where you can visibly see his structured hot bod. Rachel couldn't stop staring at his pecs, noticing how firm it would feel if she touched it or even squeezed it. She wouldn't admit this to anyone, not even to herself but she actually wanted to run her hands along the rugged structure. She realised that she kept staring at his chest for too long as Puck had also noticed this too; whose smirk just widened more.

"Like what you see babe?" he asked, perceiving what her reaction would be.

"I do, I like the fact that your face is all rearranged," Rachel sneered, focusing her full attention on Ms. Sylvester, who happened to be darting her eyes back and forth at Puck and Rachel intently.

When Sue knew for sure that the bickering couple had finished their banters, she stood up, brushing her black jumpsuit. "Since your normal teacher had some 'business' to take care of, I have been asked to substitute you two for detention."

"Wait, what!" Rachel roared, taken aback at her teacher's words. "This is not a detention class; this is a chemistry classroom that I am taking right now, hence the workbenches and science equipment in the room."

Sue gave Rachel an evil glare. "I have been informed that you two are meant to have chemistry classes now, and I can already see the chemistry unfolding before me."

After hearing Ms. Sylvester's words, Rachel felt her cheeks begin to fluster, and shifted in her seat uncomfortably, trying her best to avoid eye contact with the person sitting next to her. Puck seemed to notice this and smirked like a mad man, although finding a bit adorable that she felt insecure about the topic.

That was when he remembered the topic was on detention.

"Shit! Oh man, if I get detention one more time, the coach is gonna kick me off the team for good."

"You know swearing doesn't really solve your problem."

"Oh really? Then please enlighten me, what is my biggest problem?"

"Your biggest problem is that you are the most competent fool jackass in this whole entire planet!"

"Sorry to break your heart sweetheart, but that is just a fact, not a problem."

"Well you know what, I-"

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, I AM PREGNANT AND WILLIAM IS THE GODDAMN FATHER!"

Both teenagers turned to face the cheerleader coach, mouths agape from what they just heard come out of her mouth.

"Are you serious?" Rachel enquired, completely shocked.

"Nahhh, just wanted to say something completely random to shut you two up," Sue confirmed, heading back to the teacher's desk in the front of the room.

"I thought she had man parts," Puck mumbled to the diva, resulting to him on the floor. "Good talk," he assured, thumbs up.

"You must be wondering why no one else from your Chemistry class is here now? Well there was an announcement before lunch that mentioned anyone who is meant to have it now will have free periods instead," Sue announced.

"Then what are we doing here then? Let's bounce," Puck sneered, heading towards the exit, glad to be rid of Sue and Chem class, but was a little… sad from departing from Rachel.

"Hold it, Muck-"

"It's Puck-"

"Meh, they are all the same to me. Anyways, it should also be noted that you two weren't present in any of your classes today, not even in Glee club, and why is that?"

"Because this barnacle idiot and I were sadly locked up in the janitor's closet all night. I am saying sadly on my behalf, that meathead deserves to be locked up in there, wait… you were present Ms. Sylvester, with Mr. Schue unlocking the door," Rachel affirmed to her.

"Yes I was, but I wasn't there when you were both canoodling in there. Thank God for that, I would have never been able to see again," Sue stated.

"Are you smirking Noah Puckerman?" Rachel shouted at his direction, knowing intently he was.

"It would be a lie if I said no Berry," Puck assured her while heading to her where she was sitting, giving her a smirk.

"So anyways, since you two failed to show up to your classes while both being at school, it is my sad duty to say that I will be taking detention class with you two," Sue said, giving them both the stink-eye. "Now I have to baby-sit you two when I could've watched reruns of Sex and the City. But you are both punished mainly because that twerp said I had man parts."

This resulted to Puck being face first on the floor yet again.

"Dumbass," Rachel mumbled, annoyed with everything Puck has done that led her to be punished as well.

Sue grabbed a manilla folder with sheets of paper in it, handing Rachel and Puck theirs while giving the duo funny looks. "So to make up for the loss of Carrie and her sexcapades, you shall both be doing this instead."

Before either Rachel or Puck could say anything about it, Sue beat them to it. "You wanna know the best part? You will be assessing the person sitting next to you."

Sue definitely got the reaction she wanted. Rachel wanted to scream, and Puck wanted to burst out laughing. Actually, they both did that. Rachel raised her hand up in the air, furious. "Ms. Sylvester, I have an objection to this. I am pretty sure you aren't qualified to give out something like this, especially if this is all information needed for a dating website!"

Puck rolled his eyes at her response; it had to be soo knowledgeable.

"Are you questioning my authority or are you just annoyed that you have to make an assessment about the boy next to you? I see no problem with this, Duck-"

"It's Puck..."

"My bad. _Buck_ is just a normal, innocent, hormone-crazed teenaged boy, who probably just wants to get into your pants, unless he has strong feelings of love for you, but nonetheless he is innocent enough so give him a chance."

Puck stared at the blonde haired teacher in front of him, flabbergasted. One, she mispronounced his name _again_. Two, he definitely was a hormone-crazed teenager. Three, he did want to get into Rachel's pants – or in her case, her short shorts under her skirts, but same thing – but a part of him didn't want to do that. Who would've thought Sue Sylvester knew how he felt? That was definitely un-Puck like.

Wait a minute; did she just say something about strong feelings of love? "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop right there lady. The only thing I _love_ about her is-"

"Yeah, yeah, save it for filling out these sheets of paper. Just pretend that you two are dating and you are writing about what you love about each other," Sue proclaimed, giving both her infamous Sue Sylvester smile and headed to the front desk, pulling out a Who Weekly magazine.

"What kind of punishment is this?" Rachel questioned softly when she knew Sue was out of ear shot.

"Who cares, I'm glad _this_ is our punishment instead. So tell me darling, rank your top five favourite sex moves we perform together?" Puck enquired, raising his eyebrows up and down.

Although Puck once again found himself on the floor a moment later, he made a mental note that since she loved to be in charge, her favourite sex move must be the missionary position.

* * *

While the two of them were silently writing what they defiantly _love_ about each other, someone else was on a mission of their own, using a gossip magazine to shield what she was really doing on her mobile phone. Heading towards creating a new text message, only one sentence seemed to make everything go all planned.

_Operation Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy is a-go-go, commencing phase 2: the loving of the lovers_, sending it to a number she would surely plan to destroy after getting this collaborated plan of theirs to work.

After her phone flashed a brief pop up notice that informed her that the message was sent, Sue began to laugh inwardly to herself, reading in the magazine about how the woman that won the Emmy for Outstanding Role of a Supporting Actress of that television show she forgot the name of looked incredibly exactly like her.

"Dammit, now I have an anchoring for fruit salads," Sue mumbled, as she carefully slipped her phone back into her trackies to spy on what the bad boy and perfectionist were doing.

* * *

Two minutes after they were given the dating form, both the mohawked boy and the singing lover exclaimed at the same time, "Finished!"

Surprised, Sue got off her seat with the magazine in hand, and marched her way towards them. Picking up their sheets of paper, her plan to immediately burst out laughing came to a halt by reading only one word on each sheet.

When asked overall what they loved about their 'partner,' Rachel answered, "NOTHING!" while Puck answered, "EVERYTHING!"

"You two both know that apart from the last question, you left every other question unanswered?" Sue enquired, obviously pissed that the plan is now failing.

"Fine, can you pass my sheet back, please?" Rachel perked up, a devious smile playing on her features.

"Knew you wanted to commit to this," Puck whispered in her ear, making her arms get goosebumps.

"Please shut up before I will make you never create life again," she hissed, her pure venom tone intent.

While Puck chuckled at her response, Rachel was quick to jot down an answer for every other question written on the sheet. Looking satisfied, she handed it back to Sue, her chocolate-coloured eyes now showing a mysterious glint.

She got the reaction she wanted, with Sue booming at her, "You can't write "no comment" for every other question! What is wrong with you today, I see locking you up with landing strip boy over here seemed to put your mind into a non-confessing mode."

Her devious smile turned upside down, mumbling a few profanities about the mohawked idiot next to her, not paying attention to what he was babbling about now.

"I am right here, and I have a name too! And where the hell did you get 'landing strip boy' from, one of those milk cartons?" Puck interjected, still annoyed that the Cheerios coach was still forgetting his name.

"Well since you two don't wanna co-operate, would you like to stay another night at school just to finish this?" Sue questioned. "I know that The Good Wife is on, but I get to see the world premiere of how you two deal with each other by yourselves."

Rachel's orbs of vision widened at the mention of staying another night at school with… _him._ "Ms. Sylvester, I beg of you. I will do practically almost anything to not wanting that to happen. I already suffered with that predicament last night; do you really want me to go through it again?"

"Uh, yes!"

"Did I ask you ogre? No, so zip it!"

"Honey, it's a free country so I have the freedom to say whatever I want, and my answer is, uh yes!"

"And you wonder why you are a competent fool jackass?"

"I just know that I am one whenever I am around you."

"Hey mum and dad…" Sue interrupted the bickering couple. "Do me a favour, and shut up. Since this will probably go all night, I'm going to go fetch me some popcorn. Don't try to maul each other when I come back, because that is Sue Sylvester's job." She headed back to the desk placing the magazine on it, and headed in the direction towards the door, ignoring Rachel's pleas and Puck's many thanks.

And to make things more interesting, Sue locked the door, so more interesting things would evolve between the two adolescents. "Sue Sylvester, you are a son of a gun," she piped up, heading towards any place where she could find food.

* * *

"Now that we are finally alone, let's get back to what we were doing back in the janitor's closet, eh Sunshine?" Puck stated in a flirtatious manner, wrapping his arm around Rachel's shoulder once the Cheerios coach left the room.

She removed his arm off him, getting off her chair just to pace around and go over what her brain was registering to her at the moment. Deep down her mind, she pleaded that somehow Sue would come busting in and tell him off for using foul language and saying inappropriate words in a derogatory way, and give him a gruelling punishment, like wearing a Cheerios uniform all day, or even better, make him listen to love songs! Oh how she would pay _a lot_ of money just to see that.

However, something else in her mind was yelling out loud that she liked these one-on-one encounters with the brawny simpleton. From the way he constantly ticked her off, calling her endearments that she had to admit she found some of them quite flattering and others insulting, and the need of always getting her attention. She wouldn't tell anyone this, but Puck was like a puppy – cute and playful at the start, but downright annoying later on.

Wait, did she just think that?

"Did I just think that?" she asked herself out loud, her question getting the attention of said _puppy._

"I'm guessing your mind is telling you how much you like me, no?" Puck articulated, crossing his muscly arms across his chest.

Rachel groaned. "I will never ever like you, not even if you were the last boy on Earth, as cliché as that sounds. Even if you were the only guy in the world to produce future generations, I still would never like you. In fact, it is quite the opposite of that."

"Yeah, I figured you didn't like me," he responded with quietly, but loud enough for Rachel to hear.

Immediately, she began to regret her words. She knew that he was a buffoon who would never leave her alone, but he was also someone with feelings. However, he was right; she didn't like him that way. So was her mind shouting out the complete opposite?

She faced the hazel-eyed boy from where she stood near the exit, giving a sad, sympathetic glance to him. "I'm glad you understand."

"You don't have to comfort me because I know you don't like me like that…"

"I don't like you, but I don't hate you, because I-"

Rachel never got the chance to say what she wanted to say, because she instantly saw that infamous smirk ride up on his visage, saying three important and dominant words that chilled her when he mentioned it. "…because you love me."

Annoyed, Rachel screeched and turned back towards the door, mumbling some swear words about the nincompoop figure in the same room as her while rattling with the knob, realisation dawning on her that she was locked in _another_ room with _him again_.

Yep, karma was now sinking its teeth in her ass right about now.

Frustrated about the whole situation she was in yet again, she banged on the door, shouting and hoping anyone would save her. Why was it that she was getting locked up in rooms with out of everyone, the badboy Noah Puckerman? Hadn't she suffered enough with their retorts?

Apparently, fate thought it wasn't enough. Especially for what said badboy responded with.

"Well since we are yet again trapped with each other, let me be the first to ask you this question: according to this sheet of paper, where is your preferred erogenous zone?"

_Why am I alone with this perverted jackass… again?_ Rachel thought to herself, her face scrunching up to go yell at his disgusting question.

Pity they didn't know that when Sue left the room, she placed a hidden voice recorder that began to play on the teacher's desk, which was covered by the gossip magazine… and which was recording at that instant.

* * *

Meanwhile with Sue…

She searched everywhere for food, and there was none! There was, but there was no way in hell she was going to eat canned liver when the staffroom did not even have a stove. How McKinley High was although prestigious, was also cheap.

_Damn Figgins. The next time I see him, I'm forcing him to put a McDonalds and name it after me because I am just so awesome_, Sue's mind ranted.

So for the past fifteen minutes, she scavenged the place just to find food. Even bursting into an art class didn't help. Sue learnt that although they were painting fruit, it didn't mean they were painting _real_ fruit. Tasting it didn't even help the matter either.

She turned the corner when she heard roars of laughter coming out from the Glee room. Precariously, she tiptoed her way towards the room, sneaking up on the occupants of the room, eyes widened with delight with vast amounts of popcorn clutched in their hands. Now was the chance to surprise them the same way she surprised the rebel and the goodie goody.

"I AM PREGNANT AND WILL IS THE FATHER!" she boomed, startling Mr. Schue, Emma, and the rest of the New Directions clan, mouths agape.

After an awkward amount of silence, several voices spoke up all at once.

"Dude, I thought she had man parts."

"Will, tell me you did not…"

"What the? What the hell are you on about Sue?"

"Greattt, just what we need, another Quinn Fabray."

"I'm right here in this room, you know that."

"OMG Ms. Sylvester, congratulations, who is the father?"

"If that is true Ms. Sylvester, allow me to be the first to say trackies aren't a good look for you for pregnancy, and if you don't believe me, Katy can vouch for me."

"SHUT UP!"

After another round of awkward silences, another voice spoke up. "Katy, I know exactly what you mean. I guess trackies make a woman go all psychotic during pregnancy."

"I'm not pregnant, I just wanted to get your attention," Sue beamed; proud of what she had managed to accomplish. However, she was clued out as to why the rest of the Glee members were in the Glee rehearsals room when class was meant to be on. Nonetheless, Sue didn't care about them, screw them. She had her own problems to deal with, like the hormonal duo back in the Chemistry classroom, and her urge for food…

"We cut class just to see what went on between them again before we have after-school rehearsals," Kurt answered on behalf of the Glee clan, twirling Katy on his finger. "So why are you here?"

"If you must know gay-shionista, I came because I am hungry," Sue announced, pushing Kurt off his seat and taking his food, munching on some popcorn. "And because all they are doing in that room is non-stop arguing in that godforsaken room. I'm pretty sure I contracted other diseases apart from Hepatitis just for being in the same room with them."

That was when she realised something. "Oh crap, I left them locked in the room and I bet they aren't even filling out that dating form. Well, gotta go," Sue exclaimed, taking Kurt's drink before she left the room. "Toodle-a-loo."

Cue yet another… another round of an awkward silence when… "Did she just-"

"Duh, she took my food and drink!"

"Not that Kurt, did she say that they agreed to fill out the dating forms?"

Five seconds later, the whole room was empty, fleeing off to where Sue went off to.

* * *

"I still don't know why I am doing this right now," Rachel wondered out loud, referring to her now filling out the dating form. After banging on the door for the majority of the time since Sue left, her once energetic energy was completely drained not only from that but from the previous night. And for some reason, Puck out of all people managed to get her to sit down… even if it was just to fill out the stupid dating form.

"Come on babe, just fill it out and she will let us go," Puck urged, skimming each question on the sheet and answering it.

Rachel observed his actions very carefully. From the way his hazel eyes were skimming each word, a smirk - and at times a smile – would be plastered on his lips, and his hand moving the pen he has grasping firmly to write who knows what, made her wonder as to what he had answered. Sure, for all she knew he could've wrote some stuff that were dirty related and knowing him, he probably did, but he must have also written some honest stuff about her as a 'girlfriend.'

For some reason, an unknown yet tiny small smile was placed on her features, returning to the sheet in her hands. If this was her way out of another night with the left tackle, then bring it on.

The first question: _Do you like your partner's name?_

_What kind of first question is that?_ Rachel wandered to herself, bewildered. She took a rapid glance at the boy sitting next to her, pondering, _would I like his name if we were together?_

Rachel Berry, one of the main vocals of New Directions would never ever, even if it was a life or death question, tell anyone this, but she actually liked his name. Yep, you heard right, likes the name. It seemed to suit his personality, character, appearance and everything about him.

She hastily wrote down her answer, with the boy next to her noticing she was actually answering a question, leaned over to see her response. "Aww, I'm glad you _love_ my name honey."

"Don't read my answers, it is confidential… I think," Rachel shouted at him, whispering the last part. "And I never said love, I said-" She peeked down at her sheet to have perceived that she didn't write 'like,' she indeed wrote that she _loved_ the name.

"Shit!" Rachel cursed aloud, scribbling the answer out repeatedly.

Puck smiled that the girl had now contradicted her own words. "You know, a sexy chick once told me that swearing doesn't really solve any problems."

"Oh shi-crap!" she howled, face-palming her forehead.

Rachel = 0, Puck = 1

"What happened now? Did he get you pregnant?" Sue asked, once coming back to the room with a food supply in her arms.

"If we did, we would've used protection," Rachel answered, and then covered her mouth quickly from what she had just said. Did she just say that?

"Crap, did I just say that?" she said out loud.

Although Puck didn't see the devious smirk on Sue's face, all he could think of was his mind going crazy over what the wannabe diva had just stated. Oh wow, he was gonna sleep well tonight for sure.

Rachel = 0, Puck= 69

Yep, he knew what he was gonna dream about.

"Knew you wanted me," Puck beamed with a goofy smirk on his face.

"I do not want you, and what I said was mis-said," she retorted back, still recovering from what she had just said before.

"Then what was it you were supposed to say? _"If we did, we would've used no protection whatsoever,"_?" he questioned, mimicking the way she had stated her response.

She punched his arm, frustrated. "I do not sound like that! And I would never ever say anything like that."

"Yeah you would, I mean it's one of the answers on your questionnaire sheet thingy-ma-bob," he calmly affirmed, waiting for her reaction.

He should've known he would end up on the floor once again, he just didn't think it was that soon.

Sue pissed herself laughing sitting in the teacher's chair, the sight in front of her amazing to watch and observe. She was very grateful to even be present to see this take fold. She was even more grateful that her voice recorder was recording all of this, and overall glad she was a part of the plan that would hopefully work. From what was unfolding before her, it seemed that it was.

"I can't believe you said my best asset was none other than my ass."

"You know you are reading confidential information right?"

"Screw the confidentiality, that is just perverted."

"So if that is perverted, then why is your response to, _'How is your partner's body structured?'_ none other than, _his toned muscly body?"_

"That is not a perverted comment, and it is true."

"Ah, so her highness of hotness admits that I, the Puckmeister has a toned muscly bod?"

"I swear to God, when we get out of this room, you better run fast, because I will literally castrate you to death."

"Well you better catch me fast, because other ladies wanna get a piece of this badboy… unless you are jealous, is that why you want me to run from you, so you could have me to yourself? You should've just asked, I would have agreed to it."

"They can have you for all I care, you simpleton, idiot, jackass, nitwit, dumbass, motherfucking oaf, jerk, punce-"

"Don't hide your true emotions for me babe, you are either blushing, or are green with envy."

Sue took a handful of popcorn and shoved it in her mouth, quickly glancing at the recording device flashing record from under the magazine, before going back to watching another round of Rachel and Puck's banters. She slurped the drink she stole from Kurt, staring at the two oblivious lovebirds. "Sigh, young hidden love. No matter how many times they say it, denial is not just a river in Egypt."

* * *

_**Oh how I miss writing for this story... good thing I have plenty of ideas for these two for them to go bite their heads off. Muahahahahaha.**_

**_If there are any Aussies out there, you have to admit it was pretty damn hilarious that in the Granf Final, their score was a draw in like literally a minute. HAH! And all those people who went to the stadium to watch it now have wasted their money... and will probably waste it more if they come back next week._**

**_Well if that is the case - GO SAINTS! I know I know, biased much? It's just that my uncle goes for them, and will pummel me if I don't go for them._**

**_Anyhoos, like Sheldon says on the show, "BAZINGA!"_**

**_SMIGGLE!  
R&R!_**


	7. The Day They Both Got Their Jiggy On

**_Ahhh, it's great to be back... now its time to kill myself again. I can't believe this time last year I was stressing over one main exam and now I have five -six since I have to do two exams for Maths FUDGEYOUMATHEMATICS- to freak out about in exactly a month. And how have I made my time productive? By doing absolutely nothing. KILL ME NOW!_**

**_Anyhoos before I kill myself over an overdose of icecream, here is the more-than-one-year-and-a-few-days long awaited chappie. Now let's *laughs* dance *'Blow' plays in the background*_**

**_Disclaimer: Like I could own this series when I literally have forty cents in my jeans pocket, so see previous chappies._**

**_Why are you reading this pointless crap for? READ NOW NOW NOW NOW! P.S. - long chappie once again... couldn't resist :P NOW READ READ READ READ_**

* * *

"Ah, so her highness of hotness admits that I, the Puckmeister has a toned muscly bod?"

"I swear to God, when we get out of this room, you better run fast, because I will literally castrate you to death."

"Well you better catch me fast, because other ladies wanna get a piece of this badboy… unless you are jealous, is that why you want me to run from you, so you could have me to yourself? You should've just asked, I would have agreed to it."

"They can have you for all I care, you simpleton, idiot, jackass, nitwit, dumbass, motherfucking oaf, jerk, punce-"

"Don't hide your true emotions for me babe, you are either blushing, or are green with envy."

Rachel groaned and began slamming her forehead on the table. She would rather do this for the rest of her life then endure everything that was going on around her. She hated Noah Puckerman, she hated not getting her way, she hated Noah Puckerman, she hated any other slushie flavour that wasn't grape, she extremely hated Noah Puckerman to the brink… did she mention how much she hated the boy with the mowed-lawn mohawk?

Puck, however, had a completely different view on the matter. He liked his encounters with the diva. Well obviously, he was pretty much the one who would always get her riled up and an argument between them would occur. He liked to torture her through their bickers, it was pretty much the only thing they had in common, the only way that he could get close to her, to talk to her. The more vocab she used towards him that he didn't understand made him want to argue with her more, mainly as she was one of the few girls to have a decent conversation with.

Even if it meant trading flirty phrases to her, and in return getting large words he didn't understand –sometimes profanity– from her. The cycle of life, and he liked it.

"Nawww sweetheart, don't you worry your pretty little head. Just keep thinking about the hot answers you fill out on the sheet," Puck stated, smirk present. Oh how Rachel wanted to shoot a missile on his face if it was the only way to get that damn smirk to be gone for one second.

"Please, please, please jump off a cliff and die," she mumbled.

"Can't do that babe, you would miss me," Puck retorted, eyeing the petite brunette for her comeback.

She stopped banging her head on the table to glare at him with her doe-eyed orbs of vision. "The only thing I would miss if you did jump is nothing."

"Oh come on, no you wouldn't. Wouldn't you have some sort of feeling inside of you to jump off the cliff to be with me?"

"No, not really."

"What if it was that vampire douchebag?"

"What does the Twilight series have anything to do with this?"

"It has everything to do with it Berry."

"We weren't even talking about it in the first place!"

"What if it was that werewolf freak?"

"You mean Jacob Black? I'll admit he has a very fit physique, and is quite charming in a mysterious way."

"Excuse me? My real, pure guns can beat his blown-up bags any day. And I have some quality badass shit that can take down his… whatever it is he has."

"Do you care about anything that doesn't revolve around you?"

"Of course I do! I care about people… that will get smashed if they don't get out of my way."

While the duo shouted retorts at the other for the umpteenth time, at the teacher's desk Sue was at her wits trying to solve a crossword puzzle in her magazine. How the hell was she supposed to know the answer to this? What was she, a teacher?

Clearly she was, but… shut up. Moving on.

"What's a twelve-lettered word for 'a hideous and atrocious attraction'?" She thought about this for a while, processing words that could fit the phrase's description. A tiny smile formed on her phizog, writing down the letters that seemed to match the clue given.

"William's hair."

* * *

"Oh my holy water."

"Unbelievable."

"Did she just insult my hair?"

"Will!"

"What? She has got to find a hobby that doesn't have anything to do with insulting my hair!"

"She already has a hobby… destroying the Glee club."

"…Good point."

"Sorry to interrupt your love-fest, but I'm sort of interested in watching a different kind of love-fest that is taking place in the room next door."

Will and Emma turned their heads to the Latina cheerleader, oblivious to their stares while filing her nails. After getting a feeling that someone was staring at her, she glanced up and saw their expressions. "No offence," she blandly added.

Before the duo could speak, they got interrupted once again. "None taken," Kurt spoke for the both of them. "Now please shove loves, we're missing the show."

"Hold on guys," Will began to say, blocking their view on purpose. "Are you guys saying that me and Miss. Pillsbury have some sort of a romantic relationship?"

"Not this again," Mercedes groaned.

"Mr. Schue, if I may to cut this short," Quinn piped out next to Finn. "The whole school gave you two a name – Wemma. And just like Puck and Man-hands inside, it's not that hard to see something going on between the two of you."

"Great speech from preggers, now lets get on with the show," Santana quickly applauded, before making her way to the window at the door to watch their desired audience.

"Wait," Emma stepped next to Will, blocking the rest of the Glee club's view once again. "How long has this been going on for?"

Groan.

Santana was annoyed with her teacher's questions up to the point where she mentally declared that the first thing she saw she would throw – which happened to be Kurt's beloved hat. She rolled her eyes at his antics as he tried to fix the bowler into place, glaring at her in the process. "Did you drink testosterone by accident Santana? Katy could've got injured from your throw."

"For the last time Kurt, it's just a damn hat," Mercedes bellowed at her friend.

Kurt shook his head; Mercedes clearly had no idea what kind of crap she had just said. "It's not just a hat 'Cedes. You don't understand the kind of emotional connection I have with her."

"Speaking of emotional connection, can we please get back to Puck and Rachel?" Artie questioned, sitting patiently in his wheelchair although his expression in his faced showed how frustrated he was with the change of focus.

"A-a-ar-tie's rig-ght," Tina stuttered from behind. "We ca-ame out o-o-of class j-ju-ust f-fo-or thi-is, so le-let's ju-ju-jus-ust shu-shu-ut up!"

Mike eyed Tina confused. "I thought you only stuttered in public… you know, when you're not with the Glee club."

Tina's orbs widened. "Whoops, you're right. I'm used to stuttering in front of everyone."

Mike smiled at Tina, who in turn blushed, which everyone had noted.

However, the moment had to be ruined.

Santana began clapping, very pissed off. "Okay congrats female Asian, you've stopped stuttering. It's a miracle, hip hip hurray." She turned to Kurt, who was still shooting daggers at her for tossing his precious Katy. "Fashionista, I could give you a million and five reason why you shouldn't wear that hat, but I have a serious case of CBF so I won't even bother, and Wemma," she directed her attention towards the two adults. "I don't want to show my inner bitchy Latina side but please shove your butts out of my goddamn way!"

Normally, Will would've told her off for cursing, but he got used to the Latina's fiery side. She was just like Puck, except female, which frightened him in a way. One Puck was enough as it was but two… and a girl that acted like him no less, was just horrible to think… and it might just work. "Fine," Will proclaimed, motioning for his students to see the door. With smiles on their faces, they all rushed to get first dibs to observe the action they came to see to begin with until they were interrupted by their teacher and the student councilor.

Again.

"Until you tell Miss. Pillsbury and myself when this Wemma phenomenon began."

Cue another groan.

* * *

"How are my _hands_ my best assets?"

"Hey! No peeking!"

"Just answer my question!"

"First I wrote _everything_ which you got pissed at, then I changed it to _your ass_ which you got pissed at, and then I change it again to _boobs_ which you got pissed at again, and before it was changed to _legs,_ and now you are pissed at my answer for this? There is just no way of pleasing your tight ass."

"Are you trying to imply that I have a pole up my bottom?"

"Well, since you're the one who said it in the first place…"

"Troglodyte."

"Speaka da English!"

"That was in English!"

"And so is _voulez-vous coucher avec moi se soir._"

Rachel felt her skull was close to breaking for her to grab her brain and destroy that to pieces, which was how much Puck affected her. A major part of her believed he had an impact on her in a negative way, but a teensy weensy piccoleeny part considered his impact on her was a good thing. But there was no way in the name of Barbra Streisand's name would she admit that out loud, more or less to the said twat next to her. "You do know that highly inappropriate phrase translated is do you want to sleep with me tonight?"

After seeing a cheeky grin growing on his face, she knew she couldn't take back her words. "I didn't know you thought that way you cheeky minx, but since you asked me… I'm all game."

_Goddammit,_ she mused a frustrated thought. "Will you just shut your trap for one minute?"

"Only if your luscious plump lips are pressed to mine babe," he replied back, his hazel eyes somehow focused on her lips. This didn't go unnoticed by Rachel, who felt her cheeks begin to redden.

To avoid showing him he was succeeding in this battle, she turned away from him, trying to focus her attention on the dating questionnaire sheet, but failing miserably. "You never give up with your conquests do you?"

"You say it like I'm something you want but cannot have," she heard him mumble.

She turned around, surprised at his words. "I thought that was why you kept on pursuing me."

"Your one hot, sexy chick. Who wouldn't want to do you five times over on top of a piano?"

Everything goes downhill once his ego _down there_ takes over. "You perverted pig. Now shut the hell up and don't talk to me."

"But-"

"No."

Surprisingly, Puck obliged to Miss. Berry's orders. Say that she got him whipped to his face, find a mirror quickly while running for your life because that would be the last time you would ever see your face structured that way.

Despite the fact she was the one that wanted silence to begin with, she had to open her mouth. Rachel Berry does not do silence, even if her only companion –apart from the cheerleading coach at the teacher's desk– was an idiot with a hideous haircut. "You never answered my question," she whispered. It made her wonder if he even heard that.

"The one about you being uptight for having a pole wedged between your ass?" Puck asked innocently, although Rachel knew that he knew which question she was referring to.

"Not that question, but I would like to say I am not uptight."

"Whatever floats your boat."

"As I was saying," Rachel raised her voice slightly, just for him to shut up, and for the attention to be on her this time. "You never answered my question."

"I don't want to answer it," she heard him murmur, noting how his perception was at anything but her. Well this was bloody amazing news… was he blushing?

A smirk began to grace her features. "Is Noah Puckerman nervous?"

A scoff escaped his mouth. "Puckermans don't do nervous babe," he assured her while facing her again, crossing his arms across his chest to prove his point by showing his bulky arms and giving out a scowl.

"Then why won't you answer my question?"

"Why do you ask so many questions?"

"Puck…"

"No way would the way you said my name like that would convince me to tell you why, although you should say my name like that everytime I-"

"Puck, please don't ruin a good moment. Please tell me why."

Rachel heard him sigh, thinking he was stubborn like her and not give a response, until she heard him utter, "Soft hands."

"I'm sorry?" She heard him crystal clear, but needed more clarification.

"Soft hands, you have soft hands," he repeated. Seeing her chocolate eyes twinkle, he continued. "From what I've heard from Finnessa, he kept on saying something about how soft your hands were, even when they are cold. But for all I know he could have been bullshitting with me, or making some lameass shit up. You know how dumbo he is."

Although the ending was ruined especially with Puck's cussing, Rachel was touched. Finn said that about her? Not that she cared, she was annoyed. She had this uber massive crush on him probably ever since Desperate Housewives had first started airing, and that was the only thing he would talk about in reference to her? She was very glad that she realized she had been chasing after the wrong guy when her perfect guy was next to her.

Wait, what?

"Wait, what?" she repeated, not believing what her inner monologue was trying to convince to her.

"I know you're still hung up on Finn and all, but how can you not see what a dumbass he is! Just last week he texted me if I knew what my number was… my number! He texted me for my number! Sometimes I just want to kill him; I'm doing everyone a favour by destroying his existence!" By now, Puck was drawing a stick figure of Finn on his questionnaire sheet and stabbing his pen all over the drawing. Poor drawing.

"Stop hurting the illustration," Rachel said, rolling her eyes at his behaviour as he stabbed the pen multiple times through stick figure Finn's chest and the pen went through the paper.

"Never! I'm making it feel my pain, my pain!" Puck was now full of rage, pretty much decided to rip the whole questionnaire sheet altogether.

Rachel had seen Puck go apeshit crazy one too many times. She felt bad about the time when she saw Puck throw his lunchbox at Mike because he wouldn't trade lunches with him and didn't intervene. But yet again, they were freaking eight years old, so that didn't count.

"Puck stop!" Rachel roared, throwing the pen grasped firmly in his hand and placing her hands on top of his in an attempt to calm him down. "Just calm down. Breathe in, breathe out; breathe in, breathe out."

"I'm not gonna do that therapy shit-"

"Just do it!"

One again, Puck followed her orders, inhaling and exhaling while waiting for her to continue speaking. "I don't like Finn anymore. Well I like him as a friend, but not in the same way as I used to. You should learn to control your anger problems; you have hurt many people both physically and emotionally as a result of your actions."

"Like who?" he smirked, waiting for a list to come out of her skirt pocket with everyone's name written down.

"Me," she mouthed, glancing down at her lap, but Puck saw her lips move.

His smirk died down to a grim line. It pained him to know he did all those terrible things to her, and yet he was making her life even more of a living hell by flirting with her. If he could change back time and undo all those times he threw slushies at her, and hit the old him in the ball sack, he would. He took his hands out of her grasp and took hers in his instead. "I really am sorry for that. I'm not sorry for slushing those other losers, but I'm sorry I did that to you. I don't know why I did it, but I really am sorry. I don't think I can ever express how sorry I am."

"You know that I can forgive but I will never forget," Rachel stated sadly.

"I know I know I know, but," Puck's orbs gazed into her mocha eyes, boring his apologies through his eyes. If he couldn't say it in words, maybe he could express it through his orbs of vision. He never considered it, but Rachel's eyes were a lovely shade of brown. Always full of life, admiration, twinkling, and looking into them made you feel the happiest you had ever been, like now for him.

For Rachel, she felt something just by looking into his eyes. She assumed it was lust, but closer inspection made her realize there was no trace of that evident in those hazel eyes. It wasn't love, as harsh as it might be to say out loud, she believed that term wasn't featured in Puck's dictionary. But there was something there, a mixture of other emotions she had never seen present on the young man in front of her, and she wanted to break down the walls he had built to hide from, just to find them and release them. Rachel already knew she was losing her mind, but she could've sworn she heard someone shout, "Just fuck each other already!"

Having the decency to actually find out who cursed those horrible words, she tried to move out of her seat, only to find out she was tugged forward by Puck still holding her small hands in his large ones. When she twirled around in her seat, she was closer to him than before, and she wanted to move more closely towards him. But at the same time, she didn't want to break eye contact with the mohawked teen; his eyes were just intoxicating and hypnotizing to not turn away from.

As usual, those rare moments never last long.

"Yo, Joey and Pacey," they heard Sue shout in their direction.

Puck banged his fist on the table, breaking eye contact with Rachel to shoot daggers at the cheerleading coach. If looks could kill, he would've blown Sue up seventeen and a half times already. Rachel had to grab his hand again to calm him down, and so he wouldn't get up and strange Sue.

"What?" Puck groaned, not wanting to hear from Sue how he should get a room with the wannabe diva. He would love to; heck they were in a room right now if only the damn teacher would leave and not lock the door this time.

"What's that film called with Alicia Silverstone where she plays some rich kid help this loser chick be popular and try to hook her up with some guy, who is oblivious to her so-called 'step brother' having a thing for her?" Sue enquired, ignoring the tone of his voice and watching both of the teens intently, hoping they weren't dumb but at the same time not figure out her true intentions.

"Clueless," they both responded at the same time, coincidentally gazing –according to Sue– into the other's eyes as they gave their answer, unknown to the fact that they were still holding hands.

Sue smirked at the two, going back to her magazine as a cover up to hide the fact she was taking a picture on her phone. "And that's what the two of you are, you crazy Jews."

* * *

"Just fuck each other already!"

Seven seconds and a wrestle in the mud later… "Ewww! I cannot believe you sucked my finger Santana!"

"Oh please Matt, get over it. Why are you whining, it's not the first time I've sucked something from your body."

Nine pairs of eyes stared at the Latina, seven of them disgusted, one of them embarrassed, and the other smiling like a goof ball. "Did she suck cream from your boobies as well?" Brittany asked Matt.

Not wanting to answer that ridiculous question, Matt distanced himself from the blonde.

"Did you have to shout that out loud?" Tina questioned. "Mr. Schue and Miss. Pillsbury are still looking for us, and they could've heard that and found us easily."

Long story short, when Mr. Schue had asked his students when the relationship of Wemma had began, they did the one thing that has proven effective in many situations – they ran. Except for Artie and Tina, who waited for the two adults to chase the rest of the clan before scooting off themselves. Eventually the students all found each other, and were now watching Puck and Rachel outside the science lab… that was until Santana was frustrated that PuckleBerry had sexual chemistry and weren't taking any action whatsoever and began to cuss.

"In my defence, they are two horny teens that know they want each other but are not doing anything about it. I'm merely giving them the push they need to pounce," Santana clarified, satisfied with her answer.

"Guys shush, Ms. Sylvester just asked them something," Mercedes hissed, using her hands as binoculars to hopely get a better view.

Everyone else –except Artie and Kurt, Artie was wheelchaired, and Kurt was sitting on Artie's lap to not step on the mud and ruin his new Alexander McQueen boots– scooted towards the window, either watching or listening to the scene unfolding before them.

"Seriously Ms. Sylvester? Even I knew the answer to that, and it's not because I'm Asian."

Nine pairs of eyes stare back at Mike, not even bothering to comment.

"You've watched Clueless?" Quinn asked, trying to hide a laugh.

Mike was struggling for a reason why. "Uh…um… well… I bet he has!" he bellowed, pointing an accusing finger at Kurt, still sitting on Artie's lap.

"Duh, I'm gay," Kurt responded simply, twirling Katy around his finger.

"BURN!" Santana howled, slapping Mike's arm.

Next thing to happen, Mike was dripping wet from head to toe. He turned to Brittany, annoyed and confused. "Why did you just pour water all over me?"

Brittany still smiled her goofy smile. "Santana said burn, and I don't want you to be on fire so I poured water from my bottle on you to kill the fire, and it worked."

Just like Matt did moments before, Mike also distanced himself from the blonde.

Everyone returned their gaze to the window and it was a comfortable silence for a while, until Tina commented, "If Puck was Asian, he would look like Taeyang, and he is pretty good looking. Except I prefer Onew, I love fried chicken."

Nine pairs of eyes glanced in Tina's direction, one filled with joy and delight while the other eight gave her the same blank expression with a clear message – what the fuck are you on about?

Seeing the eight faces of blankness, she rolled her eyes. "It's an Asian thing," she articulated, dismissing the matter.

"Always running to a different subject, aren't you Lucy Liu?" Santana huffed.

"Speaking of running," Finn piped out, pointing to something in the distance. The members of New Directions –except the two inside– all gasped when they saw the figures of Will and Emma running after them.

"RUN!" they all shouted, except for Artie and Kurt, who shouted to Tina, "PUSH!"

* * *

"To the ham and cheese of my ham and cheese sandwich," Sue declared, rising from her chair, obviously referring to the two –she assumed horny though she knew the boy was more– teens fighting over the dating sheet. Since Puck ripped his to shreds, he decided to read Rachel's answers since he believed it was fair he read out one of his answers. Rachel, clearly, didn't think that was the case, so now they were both fighting over possession of the questionnaire sheet. To think they wanted nothing to do with it a moment ago, and to think they were holding hands like long lost lovers reunited just before. But as the saying goes – all good things must come to an end.

"I'm gonna go get me some refills because my awesome body is craving some fruit salad, and I blame the two of you. Damn you and your names. DAMN YOU!" Sue howled, heading towards the entrance and opening the door. "I better not expect this door to be opened when I come back, I know where you two people go to school," and with that, she left, locking the door behind her.

Four and three quarters of a second later… "She's gone," Puck cheerfully sang, turning his full attention to the brunette.

"No Puck, we are not going to make out," Rachel assured him, pulling for her questionnaire sheet from his grasp.

"As much as I know you don't mean that and I wouldn't mind some of that right now, I was actually referring to something else," he pointed out, getting up of his seat and heading towards the window.

Curiosity got the better of Rachel to enquire, "What are you doing?"

It wasn't until she saw him pick up two Bunsen Burners that she realized what he was doing. "Puck, I will not have you blow up the Science laboratory!"

"Relax Princess; I'm not trying to do that. Although that is a sweet idea, I shall use that another time, so thanks babe," he thanked her, winking in the process.

"Then what are you trying to do, get yourself killed?"

"You would cry for me if that was the case, but I'm doing this instead." And with that, he threw the two Bunsen burners at the window, hoping the impact would break the glass. Instead, they bounced off the window, only leaving a few marks.

"Fuckity fuck fuck," Puck cursed, kicking one of the Bunsen burners and breaking off the metal piece that changed the colour of the flame.

This got Rachel irritated. She stalked towards him, tapping her foot impatiently. "You neanderthal! Don't break school property!"

"Honey, school is a prison and we are the prisoners. Think of it as us trying to escape to reach freedom."

"So in other words, the prisoners are breaking out of prison."

"Yeah, that too."

"Like Bunsen burners would actually help?"

"I had to try something. You heard her lock the door, I'd break the door but I've broken so many doors. Windows however, that I've never done. And besides, you only live once. Live life to the fullest, because the next minute, you could be wounded by a mortar shell while eating some cheese and drinking wine."

Rachel smiled at his last comment. For some odd reason, Puck had for once completed his English homework, and was now reciting how the war was random in _A Farewell to Arms_. Just because he actually finished homework for once did not mean he could sweet talk her into joining him in escaping the laboratory, even if she didn't want to stay here any longer. "I'm still not joining you."

Puck glanced at her with a glint in his orbs. "I never said you had to, but I would appreciate the company, and we could get back to you wanting to make out with me," he smirked.

"Which is a reason to stay here," Rachel affirmed, pulling a seat at one of the tables at the front of the class.

"Your loss babe," he assured her, resuming to find anything to throw at the window.

Rachel eyed the chemistry laboratory closely. It was a long time since she sat at the front of this class, ever since the punce in front of her kept distracting her from her learning. She cocked her head to the side and when she noticed fire extinguishers lined up next to each other near the entrance. "So the school cannot afford to send twelve students to a singing competition, but they can afford _seven_ fire extinguishers for a classroom alone? I'm going to tell my daddy to file a lawsuit about this."

"What are you on about?" Puck questioned, looking at what the diva was referring to. After seeing what she was blabbering about, a grin that would rival the Cheshire cat's smile was plastered on his visage. "You are a genius Berry."

"What are you on ab-" Next thing she knew, she was shouting profanities at the badboy for using one of the extinguishers to break the window.

"Are you done with your yapping?" Puck wondered, peeking at an imaginary watch on his arm.

"I'm not yapping, and no I'm not finished. I'm still not going with you," she huffed.

"Actually, I think you should come with me," he informed her.

She eyed him warily. "And why is that?"

"Because when that crazy ass teacher comes back and sees the window broken, my sexy form gone and you here, she'll blame you for the window."

"She would not! I think out of the two of us, she would defiantly know it was you who broke the window."

"It could've been you trying to frame an innocent handsome man, and then what's your alibi?"

Damn, he had her there. But she was sick of his presence. Going with him would mean she would break some rules, be a rebel herself. But she did not want to be blamed for something she did not commit. Why was he so damn hot?

"Fine, I'll join you. But on one condition."

"And what's that honeybunch?"

"Make that two conditions – one, no funny business, and two, stop calling me those words you believe are endearments."

"Can't promise baby."

What had she gotten herself into?

"Ladies first."

"Oh no. You're just either going to cope a feel like last time or try to peek up my skirt like last time. No, you go first."

"You worry too much, but fine I'll go first."

She was not worried for him when he decided to jump out the window as if he was swimming the freestroke. She heard some sort of splash, and a part of her was thrilled she did not volunteer to go first. But now she had second thoughts if this was the best way to leave the classroom.

"Hurry up damsel in distress, your Prince Charming has to take a piss."

That didn't help her decision making.

"Shush you criminal. Are you sure this is safe?"

She saw him roll his eyes. "Babe, my arms are open for you so I can catch you when you fall. And this is probably the most action I'll have with a girl in a month."

Too much information to know. Wait, a month? Was he becoming celibate?

"If you drop me or I become injured because you fail at catching, expect a lawsuit in your direction," she threatened, bracing herself for her doom.

"Just jump you baby!"

So jump she did. Except when Puck caught her, he thought it would be funny the moment she was in his arms, he would drop her. Fine, he did it to piss her off and get her all riled up and also to get her dirty. If his phone hadn't died the previous night, he would have taken a pic of her right then and set it as his wallpaper. But witnessing her like this was a start.

Even though it was mud all over her, she was still damn sexy. Especially when she was angry. At him. "You jerkface idiot!"

"What did I do?" he asked innocently.

"You know what you did; you dropped me on purpose for your own amusement. You're going to pay for this you troll!"

"Does payment involve making out?"

"Expect to die Noah Puckerman, expect your fucking ass to die!"

And the chase between Rachel Berry and Noah Puckerman began across the football field.

"Come back here Puckerman!"

"I'd like to survive before my kid is born thank you very much."

"I'll tell the child you conceived with Quinn and everyone else the story about how you were killed, and it will go along the lines of me murdering your sorry ass!"

"Instead why don't you tell everyone else the story about how you murdered my cock repeatedly that one time when it was a hot summer night, and you used your amazing tongue to-"

"That will never ever happen you disgusting pervert!"

And the two began to wrestle in the mud.

"If you wanted to be on top, you should've just asked babe."

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me those names?"

"Well you're making it hard for me to not say how hot and sexy you are, even when you're covered in mud."

"And since you're covered in mud, eat mud pig!"

"…Did you just throw mud at my face? You're going down baby!"

"Catch me if you can!"

"I plan to do more than that after when I do!"

* * *

"Have we gotten away from them?" Mercedes glanced around, hoping to not see a tuft of curly hair or ginger hair in her peripheral vision.

"Yep. Thank the fucking lord," Santana muttered, filing her nails.

"Although I have to wonder why the hell we are hiding under the bleachers," the other diva of the club wondered out loud.

"Trust me, we're safe. Once, Brittany and I couldn't be bothered going to cheer practice so we hid under here when Sylvester was hunting us down. And since we had nothing else to do, we made out under the bleachers."

Mercedes wanted to vomit. "Too much information."

Before Santana could respond, the two heard some loud bickering from the football field and both peered from where they were under the bleachers to see who they were. When the girls heard shouting from a girl and taunting from a guy, they both had their suspicions to which those two could be. And their suspicions were both confirmed when they saw a girl with a short skirt with mud all over herself and a guy with a mohawk being wrestled in the mud by said girl.

Santana chuckled, very happy. "Hah. So that extra push worked after all."

Mercedes glanced to the Latina, confused. "What are you on about Santana?"

Santana rolled her eyes, but gave her companion next to her a response. "What I mean Beyoncé is that I'd like to think today is the day they both got their jiggy on."

* * *

**_*Sigh* GO GEELONG FOR DEFEATING COLLINGWOOD! And before I forget, this is an early bday prezzie for my pals Monique and Chloe, so for the aforementioned girls GO AND... SLEEP._**

**_I need a hug, so while I pester my dad for a hug at 1AM, why don't you lil' young'uns go and SING A SONG AT THE TOP YOUR LUNGS._**

**_SMIGGLE!  
R&R!_**


	8. Another Round Between Mars vs Venus

_**Due to my happiness and excitement regarding my beloved laptop working again after being resurrected from laptop heaven, I thought 'Hey, might as well post this since I'm going to be a lazy bugger once uni recommences.' Makes me wish I shouldn't have begged my mum for those hand puppets all those years ago. Yeah... I have no idea either.**_

_**Anyways, HI AGAIN! Long time no see once again. How have you been? I don't care! Naaah, I care. Trust me, your time must have been more productive than mine. I'm still trying to shake off my jet lag state, but it is hard, considering how yesterday I slept at sunrise and woke up at sunset. Again... I have no idea.**_

_**Disclaimer: see previous chappies. And if you are lazy to do so - I no own Glee. If I did, the first thing I would buy with my money is an air conditioner and maybe a pet lizard. Oh and unlimited Mango Frappa's from Starbucks. Oh yeahhh, my idea of heaven :D**_

* * *

"If you wanted to be on top, you should've just asked babe."

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me those names?"

"Well you're making it hard for me to not say how hot and sexy you are, even when you're covered in mud."

"And since you're covered in mud, eat mud pig!"

"…Did you just throw mud at my face? You're going down baby!"

"Catch me if you can!"

"I plan to do more than that after when I do!"

Rachel knew it was immature of her to do so, but she just couldn't let the opportunity slide. Whipping her head back to face the boy chasing her, she stuck her tongue out in a childish manner; somewhat hoping her simple action would get him more annoyed.

It worked. Puck was very annoyed. When he said he planned to do more after he caught her, he wasn't joking. He was serious. Exactly what it was he had planned if he had managed to catch up to her he did not actually know, but felt that the idea would come to him eventually. Despite long grueling hours of football training and considering Rachel's size, she still managed to slightly outrun him. _Slightly._ But to be honest, he had never seen this side of her before. Heck, it made her seem… cute. Cute in a deer way with her doe-like irises teasing him. He really should stop watching Disney films with his sister, especially Bambi.

He needed to get these sappy thoughts out of his head, and he was glad that Rachel stumbled up ahead of him that he used as an advantage to edge closer to her. Sadly his thoughts returned to him and were now registering how carefree she looked with her mocha hair blowing everywhere. When she was in Glee club –or anywhere for that matter– she was always her prissy self, but observing her now revealed a side he had never seen before. And Puck quite liked it… probably without the mud clinging to her clothes and the rest of her body.

But even with the sludge on her petite form, it made her more beautiful than before.

Whoa, where the heck did that musing come from?

After hearing the hurrying steps of mud behind her had died down, Rachel turned to observe a dumbstruck Puck just staring. After whipping her head around to see if there was anyone behind her, she came to the conclusion that he was probably just staring into space or wherever the hell teenaged boys like Puck were thinking of when their expressions were like that. Not rushing back to him if he was bluffing, she took leisurely steps towards the badboy, keeping a fair distance incase it turned out to be a deception.

"Puck?" Rachel hesitantly questioned, waving a hand in the direction he was staring at, even though she was a few metres away from the boy. Observing that he was still in the same condition and position he was in moments before, she stepped closer until she was face to face with him.

What the hell was she supposed to do now? If she tried to slap his face (while feeling his rugged cheeks at the same time), he would pounce and she would be killed. If she tried to reach out and grab his arms (while feeling how hard and muscular they felt), he would pounce and she would be killed. If she tried to place her hands on his chest (while trying to find where his nipple ring was located despite him having a shirt on), he would pounce and she would be killed. She didn't even want to know what would happen if she tried to kiss him. Not that she wanted to, it was just a measly thought… so she muses.

So either way, no matter what the outcome was, she would be eaten by her predator.

So Rachel Berry did the one thing that made her actions feel neutral – she did nothing but stare at him, stare at his muddy face (courtesy of her), stare into his hypnotic orbs of hazel.

Noticing his mohawk was in disarray due to her mud throwing, she reluctantly made her right hand move towards his lawn-mowed head. She could've sworn Puck's irises had flashed a different kind of emotion, one she was familiar with but never seen him express it to anyone.

Rejection.

But why would he feel, or be rejected? Puck was one of the most popular boys at McKinley High. Many, if not all the girls (but Rachel… her mind for some reason thought otherwise) wants him, and all the boys wanted to be him… heck she was sure some boys even wanted him just as much as the girls wanted him, if a confession from Kurt was anything to go by. He was, as eloquently dubbed by the man himself, an ambadassador, someone that everyone fears because of his tough guy exterior and his record of bad behaviour. He had something she didn't have – people knowing your name and knowing who you are, that is not said in a negative connotation. He had fellow students eating out of the palm of his hands, and he was the one who would more likely reject others. He was everything she wasn't, so why did it seem like the tables had turned?

That was when she figured it out the reason behind his peculiar expression – he thought she was going to slap his face. Well, that was Rachel's assumption anyway, since his beautiful eyes had slightly widened and he had flinched a little when her hand made contact with the mud on his head. She might as well set the record straight before he assumed something else with her actions.

"I'm not going to hurt you," she softly told him, showing him the mud that was attached to his unnecessary hair cut and tossing it over her shoulder; while her other hand smoothed out his mohawk as best as she could. She knew she should just stop whatever the hell she was doing but her body felt like it was possessed and some other form was controlling her, although her mind was telling her she just wanted an excuse to touch him.

Puck followed her movements with his eyes and just contemplated her. One minute she is pissing the world off, the next minute she shows a carefree side no one would believe she had. He always knew she was the kind of person that was hard to decipher, especially with her ever-changing ape shit split personalities, but he liked the fact that he always had the chance to see her 'evolve'… since Puck was pretty sure he was the one that made her go through several metamorphoses. From the way she was playing with his 'hawk, he would not have mind her doing that for the rest of his life… as long as he could be _doing her_ for the rest of his life. God, she was going to be the death of him.

"Berry," Puck breathed out, watching her reaction. Her slight shiver went unnoticed by him, and he liked it. Time for his plan to commence. "I wasn't kidding when I said you had soft hands."

Rachel did not know which was more unexpected – him saying those words, or the fact that after he spoke said words, he grabbed her hands from his lawn-mowed head and held it in his. She knew it was a big mistake to look into his eyes, especially when he was boring everything into her. All the emotions she observed from staring into his irises before made their presence again, and a part of her liked how she would bring it out of him. She just did not understand why he would characterize himself and proclaim to everyone else how much of a badass he was when what she was seeing right now were the exact opposite. Why was this boy so hard to figure out?

Like now for instance, with his thumbs brushing itself around her knuckles and his stare much more intense than before. Rachel wondered if this was how he used the Puckerman charm on other females, because although she would never ever admit it out loud or even to her diary, the charm seemed to be working on her. His stare just made her feel important, feel appreciated, feel… cared for. She always hoped that someday, someone would look at her the same way Puck was currently looking at her. She unconsciously licked her lips due to his orbs boring into hers, noticing how his grip on her tiny hands was slightly tighter. She was nervous yet curious to wonder what would occur next, and she did not have to wait anytime soon, with his chiseled face moving precariously towards hers.

Their staring war still going on, Rachel bit her bottom lip, resulting to a low growl from the young man in front of her that she barely heard. This was it, the predator was going to kill his prey, and if she was honest, she had a feeling it would happen, just not this soon. She could feel Puck's breath heaving closer towards where she stood frozen –not because he was still holding her hands–, just not wanting to flee. Her hands felt clammy, but pulling them away made Puck grip her hands tighter again, not wanting her to slip through his fingers.

When she closed her orbs of vision, he knew from then it was all or nothing. Taking the first move, his lips were just mere centimetres away from her plump lips, more reason to smack it to his. He would win in five four, three, tw-

RING!

"Fucking hell," he muttered under his breath before he opened his eyes and looked into her now opened chocolate eyes, all confused. Oh god, why was she looking at him like that? With the expression she had on her face at the moment; he wanted to smash his lips on hers and corrupt her innocence forever. Heck, he literally would have planned on doing that if he did not have maths class at the moment. Knowing him, he did not give a rat's ass about maths and what was currently being learnt on the curriculum about stupid quadratic functions but not going to this class would mean not being able to play the big game on Friday. He begrudgingly let go of his hold on the petite girl, taking a step back, and heading back to the school with his hands in his pockets, kicking the mud with annoyance while muttering expletives at the same time. He glanced over his shoulder one more time, a pang feeling emerging from the deep pits of his stomach.

He did not do anything to her –that was remotely badass in the last five minutes– but he felt he had hurt her more right at that moment than when he used to slushie her daily.

'_I almost made out with Berry… so why didn't I?'_ was all he could think on the way to his maths class.

* * *

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH?! ARGH! WHYYYYYYYYYY?"

"Calm down Santana! I know you want them, "crazy Jews to go hump like bunnies," but we all need to take one step at a time. Them included."

"It's just that… *sniffle* they were so close and we were so close in seeing Jews go all the way. Heck, I was waiting for them to get to first base and nothing happened, because of that stupid bell! Fuck you bell!"

"Tell me the reason you are acting like this is because it is your time of the month."

"No, my hormones act this way when I'm pregnant."

Mercedes halted her steps and raised an eyebrow at the cheerleader. There was already one pregnant cheerleader in the club; they did not need another pregnant cheerleader. Especially if that cheerleader was Santana Lopez. "… You're a really strange Latina."

Santana twirled to face Mercedes and waved around her mobile phone in her face, a smirk starting to form. "At least I'm a strange Latina with video footage of them running after the other and almost having a hot make out session because it's their way of foreplay!"

* * *

'_I almost got kissed by Noah Puckerman… so why didn't I?'_ was the only thought running repeatedly through Rachel Berry's mind.

She could not believe what had just occurred a moment ago. One minute she was locked in a room overnight with an idiot, the next minute she was in detention with said idiot, the minute after that she was hunting down the same idiot across the football field, then some sort of silent tension occurred with the same idiotic person with the mohawk, and now she was just watching the very same douchebag of an idiot walking away from her until his figure was no longer in her peripheral vision. She thought he had somewhat managed to figure him out, but after this, he just made his bricked walls become harder for her to blow down.

Rachel thought Puck had wanted this, since he pretty much kept pestering to her about making out with him half the damn time they ever had an encounter… which always results to arguments –in her defense, he would start every single one of them– so why didn't he?

She would never dare tell a soul, but he looked more attractive and roguish with mud and dirt all over him… not that he was attractive or roguish at all to begin with.

Looking down at her now muddy attire, Rachel sighed and ran a hand through her knotty hair. At this time on Tuesday afternoon, she would be in Chemistry but since that class was now a detention session for some reason –a part of her wondered if Sue knew her and the mohawk barbarian escaped the locked classroom by now– and she was out on the field covered in slosh, she might as well dry herself off while students were in class to avoid the harsh insults before Glee started. Exhaling a breath she had not realized she was holding, Rachel trudged towards McKinley High, her shoes and the muddy field emitting a squishy sound every time they made contact with each other.

She could not help but wonder why would someone like Noah Puckerman try to make a move on her anyway? I mean look at her – she was Rachel Barbra Berry, future Broadway star in the making, not to mention she acted like a diva at times, was too controlling, considered high maintenance according to everyone in McKinley, mostly everyone cannot stand her, was one of the selected few that many people picked on, and last but not least… she was short, just to name a few. It just did not make sense. _He_ did not make sense.

She made sure to wipe her dirty flats on the scratchy mats that were located in one of the entrances in the school, so she wouldn't get in trouble for leaving a massive trail of mud marking her as the perpetrator. Finding the girls' bathroom sign nearby, she made her way slowly whilst making sure no one was in the corridors to make more fun of her. Heading straight towards the sink once the door gently closed behind, she carefully peeled her shirt off, leaving her with a singlet while trying to wash off the mud from her pale shirt. Out of all the times to wear a white shirt and not bring a spare change of clothes…

The bathroom door suddenly opened and the Jewish girl froze, her name called out in a questioning manner, and she was anticipating for the harsh words to start commencing, starting with her muddy attire. To her surprise, she was not expecting Brittany to be by herself, but Rachel still had her doubts – usually wherever Brittany was, Santana was somewhere nearby. "Watch'a doin'? Oh my goofy goober, did your poop come out your mouth? That happened to me once, but it tasted like carrots. What does yours taste like?"

The brunette girl blinked, very confused. Here she was covered in icky mud from hair to flats, an opportunity for anyone, even Mr. Schue to make fun of her, and despite Brittany's cluelessness, she was a cheerio nonetheless, meaning she was on top of the social hierarchy ladder, meaning she must insult others to stay cool… so why was she not doing that now?

Not wanting to tell her off or be rude to Brittany, since she never even done anything bad to her ever which she found odd, considering the blonde was a cheerleader, Rachel answered her question. "It is mud actually; it is just hard getting this stain off. And I am confident to say that the substance that arose from your mouth was vomit."

"You're wrong, vomit is when it tastes like brussel sprouts," the blonde cheerily stated, her gym bag she was holding placed on top of the sink, so she could find her make-up kit.

Not wanting to have a quarrel with the cheerleader, Rachel decided to go along with what she was saying. "Now that you mention it, when I threw up when I was eight years old due to having gastro from consuming some poorly made salad with feta cheese, my vomit did taste oddly like that awful tasting vegetable."

Brittany in return looked at her in amazement. "I know right?" And then she observed the brunette. "Don't you have any spare clothes?"

"Sadly no. I thought I had packed a spare change of clothes but I remembered I never came home last night because I… had a sleepover and this was my spare clothes that I changed into yesterday," she explained, remembering the whole slushie ordeal at lunch yesterday. Just as she remembered that, she also remembered another fact – she had gone to the bathroom to clean off the slushee and Puck came in to start another round of their bickers. She prayed he would not show this time, she could not handle it well if he did.

Shaking her head to get rid of the memory of him, Rachel was about to continue her conversation when something red and white was thrown in her direction. Startled, she was flabbergasted to observe a red and white cheerios jersey jacket in her hands, and had to look at Brittany for an explanation. "When poop came out of my mouth at a party last week, it went all over the white top I had too. I had my lucky jacket with me and when I put it on to hide my poop stain; many people were fainting around me because of my jacket. It is very lucky and I want you to use it because you will become a king when you wear it."

Rachel wondered if Brittany should be notified that the people might have fainted because of the smell of vomit, not because she was a cheerleader and therefore popular, but she was desperate for a piece of clothing, and the said article had long sleeves so that was a bonus. There was no way she was walking and practicing in Glee with a singlet where everyone will stare at how much skin she was showing that was not her legs.

"You have no idea how eternally grateful I am for this. Thank you so much Brittany, I will reward you with some of my cookies," Rachel exclaimed, hugging the girl, forgetting her bottom half was still muddy.

Brittany didn't seem to care though, returning the hug to the diva. "Thanks, your cookies feel nice."

Rachel slightly pulled away but laughed. Brittany may be clueless, but she had perfect timing when it came to making people laugh. She even thought what Brittany was doing to her clothes was just a ruse to make her laugh, until she heard the sound of a zipper unzipping from under her cheerios uniform. "No Brittany, it is fine really. Please do not take off your shorts," Rachel began to say, looking away from the blonde while her hand was furiously telling her to stop.

"But you need spare clothes. You are like a Barbie doll, and I don't like leaving my Barbie dolls naked at the bottom," Brittany clarified, stopping her action from unzipping her shorts.

"But I have my own pair of denim shorts underneath," the brunette explained, touching her shorts which felt more muddy and wet than her shirt and skirt combined. And it was all Puckerman's fault. Sigh. After Brittany's shorts came off and once again handed it to Rachel, she had no choice but to take her piece of clothing again. There was no way she was going to be sitting with a soaked pair of denim shorts, and there was no way she going to stand and look like an idiot. "You didn't have to," Rachel began to say, extremely grateful there were some kind hearted people in this godforsaken world.

The bell rang, startling the both of them (Rachel thinks the heavens are making time go fast so she can kill herself sooner) so Brittany grabbed her gym bag, twirled around and left the bathroom, waving a goodbye to her before saying her final words. "It's fine; I have nothing underneath my skirt anyway."

* * *

"Look at my pot pie, my pot pie's amazing," Sue cheerily sang down the corridor, inhaling the chicken pot pie in her hand and thanking whoever's pot pie it was that she took. Hey, she did not steal the food if there was no name on it. Fumbling for the keys in her pocket that will open the laboratory door in front of her, she wondered what the two horny Jews would be doing once she entered the classroom. Would they be at first base? Would they skip all and head straight for home? Would they be dead? As long as Sue had her phone to record and take pictures of the scene, all will be swell.

"Your favourite teacher in the milky way is back… what the fried chicken?" she screeched, observing the Bunsen burners and fire extinguishers scattered on the floor and the window all smashed. As well as the perpetrators gone.

Sue should have been annoyed. Annoyed at Will, annoyed at Puck and Rachel, annoyed at Will's hair. Heck, she should have been annoyed at the fact she dropped the chicken pot pie she borrowed –and will never return– was now splattered across the floor, but she was not. In fact, she was smirking. Why was she smirking?

Because although the Puckleberry plan was ruined due to her stomach, an alternative path took its course. Because on the table lay Rachel's dating questionnaire sheet.

* * *

"I think I might have lost fifteen pounds just from running from Mr. Schue and Miss. Pillsbury."

"You stopped to get two packets of chips at a vending machine Finn. I don't think you would have lost any pounds, more or less fifteen."

"If Quinn is in bitchy alert for insulting Finn like that, it means she was pissed he didn't give her any to eat."

"I am not going to ask why you know that Rutherford."

"Matt knows that fact because his sister is pregnant as well, Mike."

"Pretty much all pregnant women are like that Arthur. It is common sense really, like how Katy looks fabulous on my head when she is tilted."

"Not the hat thing again Kurt! We're sick of you mentioning her every time!"

"What are you yapping about this time Asian Buffy? And where is my Britt-Britt schmoopsie poo?"

"Seriously Santana, tell me the reason you are acting like this is because it is your time of the month."

"I think you should bow down to your queen Mercedes as I am finally here!"

All nine pairs of eyes turned towards Brittany, with an uber mega watt smile plastered on her face, waving at everyone in the same action the queen would address her people. "My jacket makes me king and since I am not wearing my jacket, I am a queen. I have no power until I am king again."

"At least I know you escaped and survived the Battle of Wemma Britt," Santana said, giving a warm smile to her best friend. She faced the rest of the club with a smirk that would rival Puck's and Sue's combined, pulling out her phone from her jacket. "But guess which two people were chasing each other around the football field in mud just about to reach first base?"

"Who?" a voice called out, and Santana noticed that whoever asked that question was not any of the nine pairs of eyes that were crowding around her phone. In fact, they weren't looking at her anymore, but whatever –or whoever– was behind her. She practically twirled in her spot, her orbs widening when she saw Puck standing there, now mud-less –although you could see the mud stains– and his hands in his pockets with an are-you-going-to-fucking-tell-me-or-fucking-not expression. "From what I heard when I came in, you said "just about to reach first base," so who were about to pash the shit out of each other?"

'You and your midget soul mate,' Santana mused in her mind while she breathed out a breath she had not realized she held, relieved Puck did not arrive five seconds before those words. Plastering the smirk she had on before the bad boy walked in, the words coming out of her mouth all bullshit. "The janitor and the lunch lady. Him giving her a smile made me want to cough up the tacos I ate in my cousin's quinceañera three years ago. And those tacos turned out to be poisoned!"

"HA!" Will exclaimed, bursting into the room with Emma nowhere in sight. "You guys are all busted! I knew you would be here. Emma said none of you would but I said "Emma, sectionals is only a few weeks away, so of course they would show up to the afterschool class, otherwise Rachel would go mad and call the FBI on them." By now, he was rambling on, the heat getting to him. "So now we are here and alas we have caught you! Now you are all going to tell us about this Wemma phenomenon you were talking about when we were spying on-" That was when he realized Puck was in the room, very much concerned for his teacher. "Puck? Puck! Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wha-wha-what are you doing he-he-her-here? Shouldn't you with Rac… raccoons in the p-p-park?"

"I may have been a fake stutterer, but at least I was convincing. Mr. Schue is just embarrassing at it," Tina whispered, face-palming herself.

"Mr. Schue, no offence but are you on crack?" Mike enquired, concerned for his teacher and his odd behaviour.

"Is Mr. Schue acting like this because he broke a bone?" Brittany piped out. "One time my uncle broke a few bones from falling off the couch and he was acting the same way as Mr. Schue right now. Except he was also moving his arms and dancing in one spot."

Blink went the eyes. "Are you sure he was not having a seizure?" Artie asked the blonde cheerleader.

Brittany shook her head with a goofy smile. "No silly, he didn't have any scissors on him."

Glad the attention was off of him for now, Mr. Schue fanned himself to calm down, asking the students to take a seat so the lesson can begin. "Now are there any questions before we begin today's lessons?"

"Yeah, where's Berry?" Puck called out, and all eyes were on him, curious that he was interested in her whereabouts. Noticing this, Puck squirmed in his seat while crossing his arms to flaunt his guns, tempting anyone in the room to ask him why he was concerned about the resident diva, and explained further. "She hasn't pissed off the world yet so it would not be that hard to find her even if she was in jail."

"That's because you make her lose her blow," Santana mumbled whilst smirking, earning a few chuckles from her fellow teammates.

A voice announced in the hallway, "There is no need to panic everyone; I am finally here after I had endured a bit of a rough patch in the past two days, but I have put that past behind me and I am ready to win sectionals!"

Everyone looked up and all jaws were dropped to the floor as Rachel entered the room, all orbs staring at her attire, consisting of a cheerio jersey and a pair of ripped, pale turquoise shorts. Puck, of course could not help but stare at how those shorts showed off more leg than she ever had when she wore her goddamn skirts. He was in for the ride of his life when he hit the shower tonight.

"How does it feel to be king?" Brittany piped up in her seat at the back next to Santana.

"I will be honest Brittany, I actually understand what you mean by being a king in this jacket, or in my case a princess, since I am female and my marital status is single," the brunette answered, twirling around in the red and white jacket.

Mercedes sang in a sing-a-long voice. "Oh she won't be single for long."

"Berry, what the fuck are you wearing?" Puck asked aloud, looking over Rachel a second time and smirked his approval, ignoring the Schue's muttering of watching his language.

"Clothes," was Rachel's response, unaffected by her choice of clothes. Like she had a choice to begin with.

"Looks more like you are trying to draw some attention to yourself… more than you already do."

Every student that was not Puck or Rachel groaned as loud as they could. Only Puck would say something stupid _and_ offend Rachel Berry at the same time. "Seriously, what is the matter with that boy?" Mercedes questioned out loud.

Rachel turning into a volcano would have been an understatement. "Excuse me? What did you just say?" Finn was pretty sure lava was going to come out of her mouth with every word she spoke. "What are you suggesting, that I so-call 'whore' myself out like Santana? … No offence Santana."

"Oh I am pretty sure that was meant to be a compliment," Santana commented with gritted teeth.

"Seriously Berry, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?"

"Strike one," Matt called out in hushed tones.

"Are you trying to insinuate that I am ugly?"

"I'm saying that with those clothes, you just want to be raped."

"Strike two," Mike called out, joining in on Matt's commentary as Puck leapt out of his seat and approached Rachel, who was fuming in her spot. Sure, Rachel noted how he was practically towering over her, but she could always kick him in the nuts if all else failed.

"That has to be one of the most horrendous things to have ever come out of your mouth."

"I can show you how to make you come with my mouth helping."

"Ooh, foul," Artie called out, also chiming in with Changerford. "Can he step up to the plate?"

"You are the vilest, disgusting and neanderthalic person in this universe, and I hope you remember my words when you drop dead in your jail cell at the age of twenty-seven."

"And I hope you babe are in rehab for your constant tics and crazy attacks."

"Strike three!" Mike, Matt and Artie shouted, as Puck and Rachel stormed out of the Glee room and went their separate ways. The smoke coming out of their ears could still be seen in the room "And he is out… literally out the room," Mike added.

"Are you done with the football commentary?" Quinn enquired, looking annoyed that the trio found Puckleberry argument no. 784 a joke.

"Looks like Puck is jealous that Rachel is showing more skin to everyone than to him," Tina noted, before adding, "Even though it was more leg skin."

"He is not the only one affected; Rachel is even making up words to support her arguments. I mean 'neanderthalic?' Come on!" Kurt sighed, twirling Katy around on his finger. He was never letting this hat out of his sight ever.

"If only the jacket she was wearing belonged to a footballer that is not Puckerman," remarked Quinn, a devious smile forming after saying her words. "And that will definitely be arranged very soon."

While the Glee club discussed what their next approach would be in their plan to get Puckleberry together, neglecting the fact they were meant to commence a Glee lesson and they were two members short, Will just stared at the exit, expecting Rachel and/or Puck (it wasn't that he disliked Puck, it was just that knowing the boy, he would wag any class if he got the chance, Glee club included) to come back through the door. After a few minutes, all Will could say was, "But class had not even started."

"Mr. Schue, if I may," Quinn commented, walking –more like waddling– past him to nab an unopened packet of Cheetos, scaring the bejesus out of him. She may be pregnant but she was very good at sneaking up on people. "You may as well as join in our conversation since we are not going to pay attention to whatever you planned for today. Just accept the fact that Puck and Rachel are always going to want to kill each other, even if our plan succeeds. They are total opposites but it makes us want them to get together even more. She is the yin to his yang, the peanut butter to his jelly sandwich, the fruit to his loop, the pop to his tart."

With that, both the pregnant blonde and the teacher both chuckled at the double entendre she slipped in. "No wonder Pluto isn't regarded as a planet, it's all due to those two. Because of them, there is going to be another round between Mars vs. Venus."

* * *

_**Gaahh, why do I have to go back to uni tomorrow? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!**_

_**Also, my dad's birthday is in a few days so I guess I should be a good daughter and dedicate this chapter to him... even if he has no idea what fanfiction is, more or less how to change the password on the computer (CTRL-ALT-DEL dad, CTRL-ALT-DEL!). Regardless, this is for you dada! **__**So like usual:**_

_**SMIGGLE!  
R&R!**_


End file.
